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General Concepts about Marriage
209. There are many things about marriages which if treated of particularly would swell this small work into a huge volume. For it might treat in detail of similitude and dissimilitude in married partners; of the elevation of natural conjugial love into spiritual conjugial love, and of their conjunction; of the increments of the one and the decrements of the other; of the varieties and of the diversities of each; of the intelligence of wives; of the universal conjugial sphere from heaven, and of its opposite from hell; of their influx and reception; and many other things, which if set forth in detail would extend the work into a book so large as to tire the reader. For this reason, and to avoid unprofitable prolixities, they are condensed into general concepts about marriages. But these like the preceding subjects shall be divided under their heads, as follows:
(1) That the sense proper to conjugial love is the sense of touch.
(2) That with those who are in love truly conjugial the faculty of becoming wise increases; but with those who are not in conjugial love it decreases.
(3) That with those who are in love truly conjugial the happiness of dwelling together increases; but with those who are not in conjugial love it decreases.
(4) That with those who are in love truly conjugial conjunction of minds and therewith friendship increases; but with those who are not in conjugial love the latter with the former decreases.
(5) That they who are in love truly conjugial continually desire to be one man [homo]; but they that are not in conjugial love desire to be two.
(6) That they who are in love truly conjugial look to the eternal in marriage; but reversely with those who are not in conjugial love.
(7) That conjugial love resides with chaste wives; and yet their love is dependent on their husbands.
(8) That the intelligence of women in itself is unassuming, refined, peaceful, yielding, gentle, and tender; but the intelligence of men in itself, is grave, harsh, hard, daring, fond of unrestrained liberty.
(9) That wives love the bonds of marriage, if only the men love them.
(10) That wives are in no excitation as men are; but with them there is a state of preparation for reception.
(11) That men have ability according to their love of propagating the truths of their wisdom, and according to their love of performing uses.
(12) That determinations are at the good pleasure of the husband.
(13) That there is a conjugial sphere which flows in from the Lord through heaven into all things and everything of the universe, even to its ultimates.
(14) That this sphere is received by the female sex, and through this is transferred into the male sex; and not the reverse.
(15) That where there is love truly conjugial this sphere is received by the wife, and by the husband through the wife solely.
(16) That where there is no conjugial love this sphere is received indeed by the wife, but not by the husband through her.
(17) That there may be love truly conjugial with one of the married partners, and not at the same time with the other.
(18) That there are various [similitudes and various] dissimilitudes with married partners, both internal and external.
(19) That various similitudes can be conjoined, but not with dissimilitudes.
(20) That for those who desire love truly conjugial the Lord provides a similitude; and if not given on earth, he provides it in the heavens.
(21) That in proportion to deficiency and loss of conjugial love man approaches the nature of a beast.
Now follows the explanation of these subjects.
210. (1) That the sense proper to conjugial love is the sense of touch. Every love has its sense. The love of seeing, from the love of understanding, has the sense of sight, and its pleasures are symmetry and beauty; the love of hearing, from the love of hearkening and obedience, has the sense of hearing, and its pleasures are harmonies; the love of knowing the things that float about in the air, from the love of perceiving, has the sense of smell, and its pleasures are fragrances; the love of nourishing oneself, from the love of imbuing oneself with goods and truths, has the sense of taste, and its delights are dainties; the love of knowing objects, from the love of looking about and of self defense, has the sense of touch, and its pleasures are titillations.
The reason why the love of conjoining oneself with one’s partner, from the love of uniting good and truth, has the sense of touch is that this sense is common to all the senses, and thence takes tribute from them all. That this love draws all the above mentioned senses into communion with itself and appropriates to itself their pleasures is well known. That the sense of touch is appropriated to conjugial love and is its own sense is plain from its every sport, and from the exaltation of its subtleties to the most supreme exquisiteness. But to pursue this farther is left to lovers.
211. (2) That with those who are in love truly conjugial, the faculty of becoming wise increases; but with those who are not in conjugial love it decreases. The faculty of becoming wise increases with those who are in love truly conjugial because this love between married partners is from wisdom and according to it, as has been shown with abundant reasons in the preceding chapters. And because the sense of this love is touch, and this is common to all the senses, and is also full of delights, therefore it opens the interiors of the minds as it opens the interiors of the senses, and with them the organic forms of the whole body. Hence it follows that they who are in this love like nothing more than to become wise. For a man is wise in proportion as the interiors of his mind are opened; because by this opening the thoughts of the understanding are elevated into superior light and the affections of the will into superior heat, and superior light is wisdom, and superior heat is the love of it. The spiritual delights conjoined with the natural delights that they have who are in love truly conjugial cause amiability, and thence the faculty of growing wise. Hence it is that with angels conjugial love is according to their wisdom; and the increments of that love and at the same time of its delights are according to the increments of wisdom; and that the spiritual offspring that are born of their marriages are such things as are of wisdom from the father, and such things as are of love from the mother, which they love from spiritual parental affection—a love which adds itself to their conjugial love, and continually elevates it and conjoins them.
212. The opposite takes place with those who having no love of wisdom are not in any conjugial love. They do not enter into marriages except for a lascivious end, and in that end there inheres also the love of being insane. For every end viewed in itself is a love, and lasciviousness in its spiritual origin is insanity. By insanity is meant derangement of mind from falsities; and the chief derangement is derangement of mind from truths falsified until they are believed to be wisdom. That such are opposed to conjugial love, there is manifest confirmation or demonstration in the spiritual world. There at the first scent of conjugial love they flee into caverns and shut the doors; and if they are opened they rage as maniacs do in the world.
213. (3) That with those who are in love truly conjugial, the happiness of dwelling together increases; but with those who are not in conjugial love it decreases. The reason why the happiness of dwelling together increases with those that are in love truly conjugial is that they love each other mutually with every sense. The wife sees nothing more lovely than the man, and the man, nothing more lovely than the wife; yea, nothing more lovely do they hear, smell, and touch. Hence the happiness to them of dwelling together in house, in chamber, and in bed. That it is so you that are husbands can assure yourselves from the first delights of marriage, which are in their fullness because then the wife alone of all the sex is loved. That they have the opposite experience who are not in any conjugial love is known.
214. (4) That with those who are in love truly conjugial, conjunction of minds, and therewith friendship, increases; but with those who are not in conjugial love the latter with the former decreases.
The reason why conjunction of minds increases with those who are in love truly conjugial has been shown in the chapter which treats of the conjunction of souls and minds by marriage, which is meant by the Lord’s words, “They are no more twain but one flesh” (see n. 156-181).
 And the reason why this conjunction increases as friendship conjoins itself to love is that friendship is as the face of that love, and also as its garment; for not only does it adjoin itself to the love as a garment, but it conjoins itself to it also as a face. The love preceding friendship is similar to the love of the sex, a love which after the marriage vow passes away; but the love conjoined with friendship remains after the vow, and is also strengthened. It also enters interiorly into the breast; friendship introduces it and makes it truly conjugial; and then this love also makes this its friendship conjugial, which differs greatly from the friendship of every other love, for it is plenary.
 That the opposite takes place with those that are not in conjugial love is known. With them the first friendship, which is instilled at the time of betrothal and then during the first days after the wedding, withdraws more and more from the interiors of the mind, and successively departs from them at length to the cuticles. And with those who think of separation it goes entirely away; but with those that do not think of separation, the love abides in the externals, but is cold in the internals.
215. (5) That they who are in love truly conjugial continually desire to be one man [homo]; but they that are not in conjugial love will to be two. In its essence conjugial love is nothing else than that two will to be one, that is, will that two lives shall become one life. This will is the perpetual effort of that love, from which flow all things that it effectuates. That effort is the very essence of motion, and that will with man is living effort, is confirmed by the researches of philosophers, and is evident also to observers of cultivated reason. It follows from this that they who are in love truly conjugial continually endeavor, that is, will to be one man. That the opposite is the case with those who are not in conjugial love they themselves well know—these because they continually regard themselves as two, from the disunion of souls and minds, and do not therefore apprehend what is meant by the Lord’s words:
They are no more twain but one flesh (Matt. 19:6).
216a. (6) They who are in love truly conjugial look to the eternal in marriage; but it is the reverse with those who are not in conjugial love.
The reason why those that are in love truly conjugial look to the eternal is that there is eternity in that love; and its eternity is from the fact that this love with the wife and wisdom with the husband increase to eternity, and in their increase or progression married partners enter more and more deeply into the beatitudes of heaven, which their wisdom and its love at the same time store up within them. If therefore the idea of the eternal were eradicated, or if in any case it were to escape from their minds, it would be as if they were cast down from heaven.
 What the state of married partners is in heaven, when the idea of the eternal is banished from their minds, and an idea of the temporal comes in its place, was brought to open view with me by this experience.
Once by permission there were with me two married partners from heaven; and then a certain worthless fellow, by cunning speech, took away from them the idea of the eternal relating to marriage, which being taken away they began to wail, saying they could live no longer, and that they felt a wretchedness which they had never felt before. This being perceived by their angel companions in heaven, the fellow was removed and cast down. When this was done the idea of the eternal instantly came back to them; whereat they rejoiced with gladness of heart, and embraced each other most tenderly.
 Besides this, I heard two married partners who sometimes cherished the idea of the eternal and sometimes the idea of the temporal, in respect to their marriage. The reason was that there was internal dissimilitude within them. When they were in the idea of the eternal they were in mutual gladness, but when in the idea that it was temporal they said, “It is no more a marriage”; and the wife, “I am no longer a wife but a mistress,” and the man, “I am no longer a husband but an adulterer.” Wherefore, when their internal dissimilitude was disclosed to them, the man left the woman and the woman the man; but afterwards, as they were both in the idea of the eternal in respect to marriage, they were consociated with partners of similitude.
 From these experiences it may be clearly seen that they who are in love truly conjugial look to the eternal; and that if this idea lapses from the thought from the inmosts, they are disunited as to conjugial love, though not at the same time as to friendship, for this dwells in externals, but that in internals. It is the same in marriages on earth. There, when married partners tenderly love each other they have the eternal in their thoughts respecting the covenant, and nothing at all of its end by death; and if they think of this they grieve, and yet in thought are comforted with the hope of its continuance after death.
216b. (7) That conjugial love resides with chaste wives; and yet their love depends on the husbands. The reason is that wives are born loves, and thence it is innate with them to will to be one with the husbands; and from this thought of their will they continually nurture their love. To recede therefore from the endeavor to unite themselves with their husbands would be to recede from their very selves. With husbands it is different because they are not born loves but recipients of that love from their wives; therefore insofar as they receive that, the wives with their love enter in; but insofar as they do not receive, the wives with their love stand without and wait. But this is with chaste wives. It is otherwise with the unchaste. From these facts it is evident that conjugial love resides with wives, but that their love is dependent on the husbands.
217. (8) That wives love the bonds of marriage if only the men love them. This follows from what has been said in the preceding section. Add to this that from what is inherent wives desire to be wives, and to be called wives. It is to them a name of glory and of honor, and for that reason they love the bonds of marriage. And because chaste wives desire, not as to name only but actually to be wives, and this is effected by being bound more and more closely with their husbands, they therefore love the bonds of marriage for the establishing of its covenant; and this the more in proportion as they are loved by their husbands in return, or, what is similar, as the men love those bonds.
218. (9) That the intelligence of women is in itself unassuming, refined, peaceful, yielding, gentle, and tender; and the intelligence of men is in itself grave, harsh, hard, daring, fond of unrestrained liberty.
That women are such, and such are men, is very manifest from the body, the face, the voice, speech, action and manners of each. From their body: In that with men the skin and the flesh are hard, but with women soft. From their face: In that men are sterner, more resolute, rougher, more tawny, also bearded, thus less beautiful; and women are softer, more yielding, tender, fair, and hence are beauties. From their voice: In that with men it is grave, but with women tender. From their speech: In that with men it is fond of unrestraint and bold, but with women modest and pacific. From their gesture: In that with men this is stronger and firmer, and with women weaker and more feeble. From their manners: In that with men they are more unconstrained, with women more elegant.
 How much, from very birth, the genius of men differs from that of women has been made very manifest to me by the sight of boys and girls in their gatherings. Several times from my window have I observed them, in an open place in a great city, where more than twenty came together every day. The boys, according to their connate disposition, played together by making a great noise, shouting, fighting, beating, and throwing stones at each other; while the girls sat quietly at the doors of the houses, some playing with infants, some dressing their dolls, some piecing together bits of linen, some kissing each other. And, what astonished me, they yet looked with pleased eyes upon the boys who were so boisterous. From these manifestations I could clearly see that man is born understanding and woman love; and could see what understanding is, and what love is, in their beginnings; and thus what the understanding of man in its progression would be without conjunction with the feminine and afterwards with conjugial love.
219. (10) That wives are in no excitation as men are; but that with them there is a state of preparation for reception. That with men there is semination and the consequent excitation; and that the latter is not with women, because the former is not, is evident. But that with women there is a state of preparation for reception, and so for conception, I relate from things heard. But what that state with women is I may not describe. It is also known only to them. But whether their love while they are in that state is in its delight, or in undelight as some women say, they have not divulged. This only is known in general: That the husband may not say to the wife that he can and will not, for thus her state of reception is grievously injured, which is prepared in accordance with the state of the husband in that he is able.
220. (11) That men have ability according to their love of propagating the truths of wisdom, and according to their love of performing uses. That this is so is one among the secret things known to the ancients, which at this day are lost. The ancients knew that each and every thing that is done in the body is done from a spiritual origin; as that from the will, which is spiritual, actions flow; that from thought, which is also in itself spiritual, speech flows; and that natural sight is from the spiritual sight, which is understanding; natural hearing, from spiritual hearing, which is the attention of the understanding and at the same time the compliance of the will; and natural smell, from spiritual smell, which is perception; and so on. The ancients saw that in like manner virile semination is from a spiritual origin. From many proofs, both of reason and of experience, they concluded that it is from the truths of which the understanding consists. And they said that from the spiritual marriage, which is of good and truth, which flows into all things and into everything of the universe, nothing is received by males but truth and what relates to truth; and that this in its progress in the body is formed into seed, and that thence it is that seeds, understood spiritually, are truths. As regards formation: That as the masculine soul is intellectual so it is truth, for the intellectual is nothing else; therefore while the soul is descending, truth also descends.
 That this comes to pass through the fact that the soul, which is the inmost of man and of every animal, and in its essence is spiritual, from an inherent impulse to propagate itself, follows in the descent and wills to procreate itself, and that while this is being done, the whole soul forms itself and clothes itself and becomes seed; and that this can be done thousands and thousands of times, because the soul is a spiritual substance which has not extension but impletion, and from which there is no taking out of a part but production of the whole without any loss of it. Hence it is that it is just as fully in its least receptacles, which are seeds, as in its greatest receptacle which is the body.
 As truth of the soul is therefore the origin of seed, it follows that men have ability according to their love of propagating the truths of their wisdom. That it is also according to their love of performing uses is because uses are the goods which truths produce. It is also known to some in the world that the industrious have ability and not the idle.
I have asked how the feminine is propagated from a virile soul. I received the answer that it is from intellectual good, because in its essence this is truth. For the understanding can think that this is good, thus that it is a truth that it is good. It is otherwise with the will. This does not think of good and truth, but loves and does them. It may be seen above at n. 120 that for this reason truths are signified in the Word by “sons” and goods by “daughters”; and that truth is signified in the Word by “seed” may be seen in Apocalypse Revealed, n. 565.
221. (12) That determinations are at the good pleasure of the husband. The reason is that men have the aforesaid ability, and this varies with them both according to the state of their mind and according to the state of their body. For the understanding is not so constant in its thoughts as the will is in its affections; for it is carried now up, now down, is now in a state serene and clear, now in a disturbed and obscure state, now is among pleasant subjects, now among unpleasant. And as the mind when it is active is in the body also, it follows that this has similar states. Hence it is that the husband now draws away from conjugial love, now approaches it; and that in the one state his ability is withdrawn, in the other it is restored. These are reasons why determinations must be left to the good pleasure of the husband. Hence it is that wives, from wisdom inherent in them, never put their husbands in mind of any such things.
222. (13) That there is a conjugial sphere which flows in from the Lord through heaven into all things and everything of the universe, even to its ultimates. That love and wisdom, or what is the same, good and truth, proceed from the Lord has been shown above in its own chapter. These two in marriage proceed continually from the Lord, because they are himself and all things are from him.
 And the things that proceed from him fill the universe; for without this nothing that exists would subsist. There are several spheres which proceed from him; as the sphere of the preservation of the created universe; the sphere of the protection of good and truth against evil and falsity; the sphere of reformation and regeneration; the sphere of innocence and peace; the sphere of mercy and grace; besides more. But the most general sphere is the conjugial sphere; for this is also the sphere of propagation, and is thus the supereminent sphere of the preservation of the created universe by successive generations.
 That this conjugial sphere fills the universe and pervades it from first things to last is plain from what has been shown above, that there are marriages in the heavens, the most perfect in the third or highest heaven; and that, besides being with men, it is in all the subjects of the animal kingdom on earth, even down to worms; and is moreover in all the subjects of the vegetable kingdom, from olives and palms, even to the diminutive grasses.
 That this sphere is more universal than the sphere of heat and light which proceeds from the sun of our world, reason may be convinced from the fact that it operates also in the absence of its heat, as in winter, and in the absence of its light, as in the night, especially with men. That it thus operates is because it is from the sun of the angelic heaven, and from this there is a constant equal distribution of heat and light, that is, conjunction of good and truth, for it is in perpetual spring. The changes of good and truth, or of its heat and light, are not variations of itself, as are the variations on earth from the changes of the heat and light from the sun there, but arise from the subjects that receive them.
223. (14) That this sphere is received by the female sex, and through this is transferred into the male sex. That there is no conjugial love with the male sex, but that it is solely with the female sex, and from this sex is transferred into the male, I have seen attested by experience; of which above at n. 161, wherewith the following reason also accords; that the masculine is an intellectual form and the feminine a volitional form, and an intellectual form cannot of itself grow warm with conjugial heat, but from the conjunctive heat of one in whom it is implanted by creation. Therefore it cannot receive that love except through the volitional form of a female adjoined to itself, because this also is a form of love.
 This same might be more fully confirmed from the marriage of good and truth; and before the natural man from the marriage of the heart and lungs, because the heart corresponds to love, and the lungs to wisdom. But as very many are deficient in knowledge of these things, confirmation by them might rather darken than illustrate. It is from the passing over of this sphere from the female to the male sex that the mind is enkindled even by the mere thought of the sex. That thence also is propagative formation, and thus excitation, follows. For on the earth unless heat is added to light nothing flourishes, or is incited to cause any fructification there.
224. (15) That where there is love truly conjugial this sphere is received by the wife, and by the husband solely through the wife. That with those who are in love truly conjugial this sphere is received by the husband solely through the wife is at this day a secret; and yet in itself it is not secret, for the bridegroom and the newly married husband may know it. Does not everything that proceeds from the bride and the newly married wife conjugially affect, but not at that time what proceeds from others of the sex? It is the same with those who live together in love truly conjugial. And as a sphere of life surrounds everyone, the man as well as the woman, densely on the breast, and slightly at the back, it is evident whence it is that husbands who thoroughly love their wives turn towards them, and regard them during the day with favoring countenance; and why, on the contrary, those that do not love their wives turn away from them, and regard them by day with averted glance. By the reception of the conjugial sphere by the husband solely through the wife, love truly conjugial is known, and distinguished from spurious, false, and frigid conjugial love.
225. (16) That where there is no conjugial love this sphere is received by the wife indeed, but not by the husband through her. This conjugial sphere flowing into the universe in its origin is Divine; in its progress in heaven with the angels it is celestial and spiritual; with men it is natural; with beasts and birds, animal; with worms, merely corporeal; with plants it is devoid of life; and besides it varies in the individual subjects according to their forms. Now, as this sphere is received immediately by the female sex and by the male sex mediately, and as it is received according to forms, it follows of course that the sphere, which is holy in its origin, may be changed into one not holy in the subjects, yea, even be inverted into the opposite. The sphere opposite to it with such women is called wanton, with such men promiscuous; and as these are both in hell the sphere is from thence. But this sphere also is of great variety, and hence there are many kinds of it; and such kind is attracted and derived to a man as is congruous to him, and in conformity with and correspondent to his genius. From these considerations it is evident that a man who does not love his wife receives the sphere from elsewhere than from his wife. Yet the fact is that it is nevertheless also inspired by the wife, but unknown to the man, and while he is growing warm.
226. (17) That there may be conjugial love with one of the married partners, and not at the same time with the other. For one may from the heart devote himself or herself to chaste marriage, and the other not know what chastity is; one may love the things of the church, and the other only those that are of the world; one as to the mind may be in heaven, the other in hell; hence conjugial love may be with one and not with the other. Their minds being turned in contrary directions are inwardly in collision with each other; and if not outwardly, yet he who is not in conjugial love looks upon his partner married by covenant as a fastidious old woman. And so in turn.
227. (18) That there are various similitudes and various dissimilitudes with married partners, both internal and external. It is known that there are similitudes between married partners and that there are dissimilitudes, and that the external appear but not the internal, except to the partners themselves after living together for a time, and by indications to others. But to enumerate each so as to recognize them would be vain, for the mention and description of their varieties would fill many pages. Similitudes may in part be deduced and inferred from the dissimilitudes on account of which conjugial love passes off into cold, of which in the following chapter. Similitudes and dissimilitudes in general take their rise from connate inclinations, varied by matters of education, companionships, and imbibed persuasions.
228. (19) That various similitudes can be conjoined but not with dissimilitudes. The varieties of similitudes are very numerous, and are more and less distant. And yet those that are distant can in time be conjoined by various means; especially by accommodations to desires, by mutual kindnesses, by civilities, by abstinence from things unchaste, by the common love of infants and the care of children, and above all by conformity in the things of the church. For through the things of the church a conjunction is effected of similitudes inwardly distant, through other things only those that are outwardly distant. But conjunction cannot be effected with dissimilitudes because they are in antipathy.
229. (20) That for those who desire love truly conjugial the Lord provides similitudes; and if they are not given on earth, he provides them in the heavens. The reason is that all marriages of love truly conjugial are provided by the Lord. That they are from him may be seen above, n. 130-131. But how they are provided in the heavens I have heard described by the angels, thus: That the Divine providence of the Lord concerning marriages and in marriages is most particular and most universal; because all the delights of heaven stream forth from the delights of conjugial love, as sweet waters from the flow of a fountain. And therefore it is provided that conjugial pairs be born, and that they be continually educated for their marriage under the Lord’s auspices, the boy and the girl not knowing it. And after the time is completed, she, the virgin then marriageable, and he, the youth then ripe for marriage, somewhere meet as if by fate, see each other, and then instantly, as from a certain instinct, they know that they are mates, and as if from a kind of dictate they think inwardly within them, the youth, “She is mine,” and the virgin, “He is mine.” And after this thought has been seated for some time in the mind of each they deliberately speak to each other, and betroth themselves. It is said, as if by fate, instinct, and dictate, though the meaning is by Divine providence, because so long as this is unknown it thus appears; for the Lord opens their internal similitudes so that they may see each other.
230. (21) That according to the deficiency and loss of conjugial love man approaches the nature of a beast. The reason is that insofar as he is in conjugial love he is spiritual, and insofar as he is spiritual he is a man [homo]. For man is born for life after death, and he attains that life because there is within him a spiritual soul; and through the faculty of his understanding man can be elevated to this. If then at the same time his will be elevated, by the faculty given also to it, after death he lives the life of heaven. The opposite takes place if he is in love that is contrary to conjugial love; for insofar as he is in this he is natural, and a merely natural man as to lusts, appetites, and their delights is like a beast, with the difference only that he has the faculty of elevating the understanding into the light of wisdom, and also the faculty of elevating the will into the heat of heavenly love. These faculties are never taken away from any man; and therefore a merely natural man, although as to lusts, appetites, and their delights is similar to a beast, yet lives after death—but in a state correspondent to his past life. From these considerations it is evident that man according to the defect of conjugial love approaches the nature of a beast. This may seem capable of contradiction, because there may be defect and loss of conjugial love with those who nevertheless are men; but the thought is of those who from promiscuous love make light of conjugial love, and who for that cause are in defect and loss of it.
231. Hereto shall be added three relations. The first: I once heard noisy outcries which as it were gurgled up through waters, from beneath; one on the left, “O how just!” another on the right, “O how learned!” and a third from behind, “O how wise!” And as it came into my thought whether there are any who are just, learned, and wise, also in hell, I was impressed with the desire of seeing whether there were any such there, and it was said to me out of heaven, “You shall see and hear.”
And in spirit I went out of the house, and saw an opening before me. I drew near and looked down, and lo, a ladder. By this I descended, and when I reached the bottom I saw level plains overgrown with trees mingled with thorns and nettles. And I asked if this was hell.
They said, “It is the lower earth which is next above hell.”
And then I went on following the outcries in order. I came to the first, “O how just!” and saw an assembly of those who in the world were judges for the sake of friendship and for gifts; then to the second, “O how learned!” and saw an assembly of those who in the world had been reasoners; and to the third cry, “O how wise!” and saw an assembly of those who in the world had been confirmers.
 But I turned from these to the first where were the judges for friendship and for gifts, who were proclaimed just. And I saw at one side as it were an amphitheater built of brick and roofed with black tiles, and was told that they called it the Tribunal. Into this there opened on the north side three entrances, and on the west side three; but on the south and the east sides there were none, an indication that their judgments were not the judgments of justice, but were arbitrary decisions. In the middle of the amphitheater a fireplace appeared, into which servants having the charge of it were throwing pitch pine wood impregnated with sulfur and bitumen, the flickering light from which thrown upon the plastered walls presented pictured images of birds of evening and of night. The fireplace and the flickerings of light from it in the forms of those images were representations of their judgments, in that they could light up the subject matters of any question with colored dyes and present them in forms accordant with their inclination.
 After half an hour I saw old men and young enter wearing long robes and pallia, who putting off their caps took their places in chairs at the tables to sit in judgment; and I heard and perceived how skillfully and ingeniously from the aspect of friendship they warped and inverted judgments, into the appearance of justice; and this so completely that they themselves did not see the unjust to be otherwise than as just, and on the other hand the just as unjust. Such persuasions respecting them were apparent from their faces, and audible from their speech. At that time illustration was given me from heaven, whereby I perceived in each case whether the judgment was of right or not of right; and I saw how assiduously they covered over the unjust and induced on it the appearance of justice; and how, out of the laws, they selected what was favorable and drew the rest to their side by skillful reasoning. After the judgment the decisions were conveyed to the clients, their friends and favorers; and to requite the judges for their favor these shouted for a long distance, “O how just! O how just!”
 After this I conversed with the angels of heaven about these things, and narrated to them something of what I had seen and heard. And the angels told me that such judges appear to others as gifted with most penetrating acuteness of understanding, when yet they see not the least of what is just and equitable. If you take away their friendship for anyone they sit in judgment mute as statues, and only say, “I assent, I agree with this one or that one.” The reason is that all their judgments are prejudices, and prejudice with favor follows the cause from the beginning to its end. Hence they see nothing but what is in favor of their friend; everything that is against him they set aside, and if they take it up again they involve it in reasonings, as a spider involves its prey in the filaments of its web and consumes it. So that if they do not follow the web of their prejudice they see nothing of the right. They were explored as to whether they could see, and it was found that they could not.
“The inhabitants of your world,” said the angels, “will be surprised that this is so; but tell them that it is the truth, explored by the angels of heaven. Because these see nothing of what is just, we in heaven regard them not as men but as monsters, of whom matters of friendship make the head, those of injustice make the breast, matters of confirmation the feet, and those of justice the soles, which, if they do not favor a friend are overthrown and trodden under foot. But how they appear to us from heaven, you shall see; for their end is nigh.”
 And lo, then suddenly the ground opened, and tables fell upon tables, and with the whole amphitheater the men were swallowed up and were thrown into caverns and imprisoned.
And the angels then said to me, “Do you wish to see them there?” And behold, they appeared as with faces of polished steel, with a body from the neck to the loins as of sculptured stone clothed in garments of panther’s skins, and with feet like serpents. And I saw the law books which they had laid upon the tables turned to playing cards; and now, instead of sitting in judgment, the employment was given them of making vermilion into rouge, wherewith to deck the faces of harlots and thus transform them into beauties.
 After seeing these I desired to go to the two other assemblies, to the one where were the mere reasoners; and to the other where there were mere confirmers. But then it was said to me, “Rest a little. Angel companions will be given you from the society next above them. Through them light will be given you by the Lord and you will see strange things.”
232. The second relation:
After some time I again heard from the lower earth, as before, the cries “O how learned!” and “O how wise!” And I looked around to see what angels were then present, and lo, those were there who were from the heaven immediately over them that were crying “O how learned!” And I spoke to them about the cry. They said, “These ‘learned’ are they that merely reason whether a thing is or is not, and rarely think that it is so, and therefore are like winds that blow and pass away, or like barks upon trees without a heart, or as shells of almonds without any kernel, or rinds upon fruits with no pulp. For their minds are without interior judgment and are united with the bodily senses only. If therefore the very senses do not judge, they can form no conclusion. In a word they are merely sensual, and by us are called ‘reasoners’ because they never come to any conclusion but take up whatever they hear and discuss whether it is, by perpetually contradicting. And they like nothing more than to attack very truths, and so by bringing them into dispute to tear them in pieces. These are they who believe themselves learned above all in the world.”
 Hearing these things I asked the angels to conduct me to them. And they brought me to a cavern from which steps led down to the lower earth. We descended and followed the cry “O how learned!” And behold, some hundreds were standing in one place beating the ground with their feet.
Surprised at this at first, I asked, “Why do they thus stand and beat the ground with the soles of their feet?” and said “They may thus hollow out the ground with their feet.”
At this the angels smiled and said, “They appear to stand thus, because they do not think concerning anything that it is so, but only think and discuss whether it is, and as the thought makes no further progress they appear merely to tread and grind a single clod, and not to advance.” But then I went towards this congregation, and lo, they appeared to me men of not unhandsome face and in comely raiment. But the angels said, “In their own light they thus appear, but if light from heaven flows in, their faces, and their garments also, change.” And it was so. They then appeared with swarthy countenances, and clothed in black sack cloth. But when this light was withdrawn, they appeared as before.
Presently I spoke to some of them and said, “I heard the multitude about you shouting ‘O how learned!’ May I then be permitted some conversation with you, to discuss subjects of profoundest erudition?”
 They answered, “Say whatever you please and we will satisfy you.”
And I asked, “What must the religion be whereby a man is saved?”
They replied, “We must divide the question into several, and cannot give answer until we have formed a conclusion upon them. The first consideration must be, Whether religion is anything? The second, Whether there is salvation or not? The third, Whether one religion is more effective than another? The fourth, Whether there is a heaven, and a hell? And fifth, Whether there is eternal life after death? Besides others.”
I asked about the first question, “Is religion anything?” And they began to discuss it, with abundance of arguments as to whether there is religion, and whether what is called so is anything. And I begged that they would refer it to the congregation, and they referred it. And the common response was that this proposition required so much investigation that it could not be finished within the evening.
I asked, “Can you finish it within a year?” And one said it could not be done within a hundred years.
I replied, “Meanwhile you are without religion.”
And he responded, “Should it not first be shown whether there is religion, whether what is so-called is anything? If it is, it must be for the wise also. If not, then it must be only for the common people. It is known that religion is called a bond; but it is asked, ‘For whom?’ If only for the common people, in itself it is nothing. If also for the wise it is something.”
 Hearing these things I said to them, “You are anything but learned, for you are only able to think whether a thing is, and to turn it this way and that. Who can become learned unless he knows something for certain, and goes forward in that as a man advances from step to step, and so on successively into wisdom. Otherwise you do not so much as touch truths with the fingernail, but put them more and more out of sight. To reason only whether a thing is, is it not like arguing about a cap which is never put on, or a shoe that is never worn? What comes of it except that you do not know whether there is anything? That is to say, Whether there is salvation? Whether there is eternal life after death? Whether one religion is more effective than another? Whether there is a heaven and a hell? You cannot think anything about these things so long as you stick fast in the first step and beat the sand there, and do not set foot beyond foot and go forward. Beware lest your minds, while they stand thus without outside of judgment, grow hard within and become statues of salt, and you, friends of Lot’s wife.”
Having said this I went away, and they in indignation threw stones after me. And then they appeared to me like graven images of stone, wherein there is nothing of human reason. I asked the angels respecting their lot; and they said, “Their lot is that they are let down into the deep, and into a desert there, and are set to carrying packs; and then being unable to bring forth anything from reason, they chatter and talk nonsense. And from a distance they appear then like asses bearing burdens.”
233. The third relation:
After this one of the angels said, “Follow me to the place where they are shouting ‘O how wise!’ and he added, “you will see prodigies of men. You will see faces and bodies that are of man, and yet they are not men.”
And I said, “Are they beasts then?”
He answered, “They are not beasts but beast-men, for they are such that they are entirely unable to see whether truth is truth or not, and yet can make whatever they will to be truth. Such with us are called confirmers.”
We followed the shouting and came to the place, and behold a company of men and round about the company a crowd; and in the crowd some of noble descent, who, when they heard that they confirmed everything that they said and favored themselves with such manifest agreement, turned about and said, “O how wise!”
 But the angels said to me, “Let us not go to them, but call out one from the company.” And we called one out, and went aside with him and conversed on various subjects. And he confirmed every one of them, even so that they appeared altogether as if true. We asked him whether he could also confirm their opposites. He said, “Just as well as the former.”
Then he said frankly and from the heart, “What is truth? Is there anything true in the nature of things, other than what a man makes true? Say anything you please to me and I will make it true.”
I said, “Make this true, ‘That faith is the all of the church.’” And he did it so dexterously and skillfully that the learned standing around admired and applauded. Afterwards I asked him to make it true that charity is the all of the church, and he did it; and after that, that charity is nothing of the church; and then he clothed and decked them both in such appearances that the bystanders looked at each other and said, “Is he not wise!”
“But,” I said, “do you not know that to live well is charity? And that to believe well is faith? Does not he who lives well also believe well? And thus faith is of charity and charity is of faith? Do you not see that this is true?”
He replied, “Let me make it true and I shall see.” And he did it, and said, “Now I see.” But presently he made its opposite true, and said, “I see also that this is true.”
We smiled at this, and said, “Are they not contraries? How can two contraries be seen as truths?”
Indignant at this, he replied, “You are in error. Each is true, for nothing is true but what a man makes true.”
 Standing near was one who in the world had been an ambassador of the first rank. He was astonished at this, and said, “I am aware that there is something like this in the world, but you are insane. Make it true if you can that light is darkness, and darkness light.”
He replied, “That I can easily do. What are light and darkness but states of the eye? Is not the light changed to shade when the eye passes out of a sunny place? As also when it looks intently at the sun? Who does not know that the state of the eye is then changed, and that it is from this that the light appears as shade? On the other hand, when that state of the eye returns, the shade appears as light. Does not an owl see the darkness of night as the light of day, and the light of day as the darkness of night, and even the sun itself as an opaque and dusky globe? If any man had eyes like an owl, which would he call light, and which darkness? What then is light but a state of the eye? And if it is a state of the eye, is not light darkness and darkness light? Therefore the one is true, and the other is true.”
 The ambassador then asked him to make it true that the raven is white, and not black.
And he responded: “That also I can easily do,” and said: “Take a needle or a razor and open the feathers or quills of a raven. Are they not white within? Then remove the feathers and quills and look at the skin of the raven, is it not white? What is the black that is around it but shade, from which the color of the raven is not to be determined? As to black being only shade, consult experts in the science of optics and they will affirm it. Or grind black stone or glass to a fine powder and you will see that the powder is white.”
“But,” replied the ambassador, “does not the raven appear black to the sight?”
“And will you,” responded the confirmer, “who are a man, think anything from appearance? You can indeed say from appearance that the raven is black, but you cannot think it. For example, you can say, from appearance, that the sun rises, advances, and sets, but as you are a man you cannot think it, because the sun stands unmoved and the earth progresses. So is it with the raven. Appearance is appearance. Say what you will, the raven is entirely white. It grows white also as it grows old. I have seen this.”
 We then asked him to tell us, from the heart, whether he was jesting, or believed that nothing is true but what a man makes true.
He answered, “I swear that I believe it.”
After that the ambassador asked him if he could make it true that he was insane? He said, “I can, but I will not. Who is not insane?”
This universal confirmer was afterwards sent to the angels who explored him, as to what kind of man he was; and they said after exploration that he possessed not one grain of understanding, because all that was above the rational in him was closed, and only that was open which is below the rational. Above the rational is heavenly light and below the rational is natural light, and this light is such that it can confirm whatever one pleases. But if heavenly light does not flow into natural light, a man does not see whether any truth is true, nor therefore that anything false is false. To see these is of heavenly light in natural light; and heavenly light is from the God of heaven, who is the Lord. This universal confirmer is therefore neither man nor beast, but a beast-man.
 I asked the angel concerning the lot of such, and whether they are able to be with the living; because man has life from heavenly light, and from this light is his understanding. He said that such when they are alone are not able to think anything, nor thence to speak, but that they stand dumb as machines, and as if in profound sleep, but that as soon as they catch anything with the ears they awake. And he added that they become such who inmostly are evil. Heavenly light cannot flow into them from above, but only a somewhat spiritual through the world, from which they have the faculty of confirming.
 This said, I heard a voice from the angels who explored him, saying to me, “From the things you have heard form a universal conclusion.” And I formed this conclusion: That to be able to confirm whatever one pleases is not the mark of an intelligent man, but to be able to see that the truth is true and that the false is false, and to confirm it is the mark of an intelligent man.
After this I looked towards the assemblage where the confirmers stood and the crowd around them were shouting “O how wise!” and lo, a dark cloud overveiled them; and in the cloud screech owls and bats were flying; and it was told me, “The screech owls and bats flying in the dark cloud are the correspondences and therefore appearances of their thoughts. For confirmations of falsities even so that they appear as truths, in this world, are represented under the forms of birds of night, whose eyes a fatuous light within illuminates, by which they see objects in the dark as if in light. Such fatuous spiritual light is in those who confirm falsities until they seem as truths, and afterwards say and believe that they are truths. All these are in posterior vision and not in any prior sight.”13
Causes of Coldness, Separation, and Divorce in Marriage
234. Here, where the causes of coldness in marriages are treated of, the causes likewise of separations and also of divorces are at the same time considered; for the reason that they closely cohere. For separations are from no other cause than from coldness successively arising after marriage; or from causes brought to light after marriage by which coldness is also induced. But divorces are from adulteries, because these are altogether opposite to marriages, and opposites induce coldness, if not in both yet in one. This is the reason why the causes of coldness, separations, and divorces are brought together into one chapter. But the close connection of the causes is more clearly seen by viewing these things in series. The sequence of them is this:
(1) That there is spiritual heat, and that there is spiritual coldness; and spiritual heat is love, and spiritual coldness is deprivation of love.
(2) That spiritual coldness in marriages is disunion of souls and disjunction of minds, whence come indifference, discord, contempt, loathing, and aversion; which lead at length with many to separation from bed, chamber, and house.
(3) That the causes of coldness in their succession are numerous, some internal, and some external, and some incidental.
(4) That the internal causes of coldness are from religion.
(5) That of these causes the first is the rejection of religion by both.
(6) The second is that one has religion and the other has not.
(7) The third is that one is of one religion and the other of another.
(8) The fourth is imbued falsity of religion.
(9) That these are causes of internal coldness, but with many not at the same time of external coldness.
(10) That the external causes of coldness are also numerous; and that of these the first is dissimilitude of dispositions and manners.
(11) The second is that conjugial love is believed to be one with promiscuous love, except that by law the former is illicit and the latter is licit.
(12) The third is a striving for preeminence between partners.
(13) The fourth is no determination to any pursuit or business, whence comes wandering lust.
(14) The fifth is inequality of station and condition in matters external.
(15) That the causes of separation are also several.
(16) That of these the first is a vitiated condition of mind.
(17) That the second is a defective condition of the body.
(18) The third is impotence before marriage.
(19) That adultery is the cause of divorce.
(20) That incidental causes are also many; and that of these the first is the being common from being continually permitted.
(21) The second is that cohabitation with the married partner from covenant and law seems constrained, and not free.
(22) The third is protestation by the wife and talk by her about love.
(23) The fourth is the thought of the man by day and by night about the wife that she is willing, and on the other hand the thought of the wife about the man that he is not willing.
(24) That as is the coldness in the mind, so is it also in the body; and that according to the increase of that coldness the externals of the body are also closed.
The explication of these subjects now follows.
235. (1) That there is spiritual heat, and that there is spiritual coldness; and spiritual heat is love, and spiritual coldness is deprivation of love. Spiritual heat is from no other source than from the sun of the spiritual world. For there is a sun there proceeding from the Lord who is in the midst of it. And as it is from the Lord, in its existence that sun is pure love. This sun appears to the angels fiery, altogether as the sun of our world appears before men. The reason why it appears fiery is that love is spiritual fire. From that sun proceed heat and light; but as that sun is pure love the heat from it is love in its essence, and the light from it in its essence is wisdom. From this it is plain whence comes spiritual heat, and that it is love.
 And it shall also be explained in few words whence spiritual coldness is. It is from the sun of the natural world, and from its heat and light. The sun of the natural world was created in order that its heat and light may receive into themselves spiritual heat and light, and convey these by means of atmospheres even to the very ultimates in the earth, to the end that they may make effects of the ends which are the Lord’s in his sun, and also that they may clothe spiritual things in adequate garments, that is with materials for working out ultimate ends in nature. These things are effected when spiritual heat is joined within to natural heat. But the opposite takes place when natural heat is separated from spiritual heat, which it is with those who love natural things and reject spiritual. With them spiritual heat becomes cold. The reason why these two loves, by creation concordant, thus become opposite, is that the master heat then becomes the servant heat, and vice versa; and that this may not be, spiritual heat, which by its lineage is master, withdraws, and then in those subjects spiritual heat is cold, because it becomes opposite. From this it is plain what spiritual coldness is, that it is the privation of spiritual heat.
 In what is now said, by heat is meant love, because that heat in living subjects is felt as love. I have heard in the spiritual world that spirits who are merely natural are cold, with intense cold, when they apply themselves to the side of any angel who is in a state of love; and likewise infernal spirits when the heat of heaven flows in among them; and yet that among themselves, when the heat of heaven is excluded from them they burn with great heat.
236. (2) That spiritual coldness in marriages is disunion of souls and disjunction of minds; whence come indifference, discord, contempt, loathing, and aversion; which lead at length with many to separation from bed, chamber, and house. That these things take place with married partners while their first love is passing away and growing cold is too well known to need comment. The reason is that conjugial coldness resides above all other coldness in human minds; for the conjugial itself is inscribed upon the soul, to the end that soul may be propagated from soul, and that of the father in the offspring. Hence it is that this coldness begins there, and passes down successively into the things following and infects them, and so turns the joys and delights of the first love into what is sad and undelightful.
237. (3) That the causes of coldness in their successions are numerous, some internal, some external, and some incidental. That there are many causes of coldness in marriages is known in the world; and also that coldness arises from many external causes. But that the origins of the causes lie concealed in the inmosts, and that from these they derive themselves into the things following until they appear in externals, is not known. In order therefore that it may be known that the external causes are in themselves not the causes, but are derivations from the causes in themselves, which as was said are in the inmosts, for this reason the causes are first divided generally, into internal and external, and afterwards are examined particularly.
238. (4) That the internal causes of coldness are from religion. That the very origin of conjugial love with man resides in the inmosts, that is, in his soul, everyone may be convinced by these facts alone: That the soul of the offspring is from the father, and this is known from the likeness of inclinations and affections, and also from a common likeness of features from the father, abiding even in his late posterity; and from the propagative faculty in souls, inherent from creation; and especially, by analogy, in the subjects of the vegetable kingdom, for that in the inmosts of germinations the propagation of the seed itself lies concealed, and all that is therefrom, be it tree, or shrub, or plant.
 This propagative or plastic force in seeds in this kingdom, and in souls in the other, is from no other source than the conjugial sphere, which is the sphere of good and truth that emanates and flows in perpetually from the Lord the creator and sustainer of the universe, concerning which see above in n. 222-225, and from the endeavor therein of these two, good and truth, to conjoin themselves into one. It is this conjugial endeavor residing within the souls from which originally conjugial love exists. That the same marriage from which comes this universal sphere makes the church with man has been most abundantly shown in the chapter on the marriage of good and truth, and in many other places. It is therefore in all clearness manifest before the reason, that the origin of the church and the origin of conjugial love are in one seat, and that they are in continual embrace. But of this subject more may be seen above, n. 130, where it is proved that conjugial love is according to the state of the church with man, thus is from religion—because religion makes that state.
 Man also is so created that he can become interior and more interior, and thus be introduced or elevated, more and more nearly to that marriage, and so into love truly conjugial, and this even so that he perceives the state of its blessedness. That the sole means of this introduction or elevation is religion, clearly appears from what is said above, that the origin of the church and the origin of conjugial love are in the same seat, and there are in mutual embrace, and that therefore they cannot but be conjoined.
239. From what has now been said it follows that where there is no religion there is no conjugial love; and that where this is not there is coldness. That conjugial coldness is the privation of that love may be seen above, n. 235; consequently that conjugial coldness is also the privation of the state of the church or of religion. A sufficiently evident confirmation that this is so may be drawn from the common ignorance at this day about love truly conjugial. Who at this day knows, and who at this day is willing to acknowledge, and who at this day is not surprised, that the origin of conjugial love is thence deduced? But this is from no other cause than that, though there is religion, yet the truths of religion are wanting, and what is religion without truths? That the truths are wanting is fully shown in Apocalypse Revealed. See also the relations there, at n. 566.
240. (5) That the first of the internal causes of coldness is the rejection of religion by both. With those who cast the holy things of the church back from the face to the back part of the head, or from the breast to the back, there is no good love. If any is apparent from the body, yet in the spirit there is none. With such, goods put themselves outside of evils and cover them— like a garment resplendent with gold upon a putrid body. The evils that reside within and are covered over are, in general, hatreds and thence intestine combats against everything spiritual; for all the things of the church which they reject are in themselves spiritual. And as love truly conjugial is the fundamental of all spiritual loves, as has been shown above, it is plain that the intrinsic hatred is against that, and that with them the intrinsic love, or their own love, is for the opposite which is adultery. They therefore more than others will deride this truth that conjugial love is according to the state of the church with everyone, yea, they will perhaps laugh aloud at the very mention of love truly conjugial. But so be it. They are, however, to be pardoned, for it is as impossible for them to think otherwise of embraces in marriage than they do of those in promiscuity, as for a camel to go through the eye of a sewing needle. They who are of such quality as respects conjugial love are cold with more extreme cold than others. If they cleave to their married partners it is only for some external reasons, such as are recounted above (n. 153) which restrain and bind them. With them the interiors, which are of the soul and thence of the mind, are closed more and more, and are obstructed in the body; and then even the love of the sex is held in light esteem, or wantons insanely in the interiors of the body and thence in their lowest thoughts. These also are they who are meant in the relation, n. 79, which they may read if they please.
241. (6) That the second of the internal causes of coldness is that one has religion and not the other. The reason is that their souls cannot but be discordant, for the soul of one is open for the reception of conjugial love, but the other is closed to the reception of that love. It is closed with the one who has not religion, and open with the one who has religion. Hence in the soul there can be no cohabitation, and when conjugial love is banished thence, coldness ensues, but this with the consort who has no religion. This coldness is not dissipated except by the reception of a religion congruous with that of the other, if this be true. Otherwise, with the married partner who has no religion there comes a coldness which descends from the soul into the body, even to the cuticles, by the effect of which at length the one cannot bear to look the other directly in the face, nor to speak in a communion of respiration, or in any but a subdued tone of voice, nor to touch the other with the hand, and scarcely with the back, to say nothing of the insanities that from this coldness creep into the thoughts which they do not divulge, which is the reason why such marriages are of themselves dissolved.
Besides, it is known that an impious person holds the married partner in slight esteem, and all are impious who are without religion.
242. (7) That the third of the internal causes of coldness is that one is of one religion and the other of another. The reason is that with them good cannot be conjoined with its correspondent truth. For a wife is the good of the husband’s truth and he is the truth of the wife’s good, as has been shown above. Hence from the two souls there cannot come to be one soul; consequently the fountain of that love is closed, which being closed they come into a conjugial which has a lower seat, that is, of good with another truth or truth with another good than its own, between which there is not any concordant love. Hence coldness begins with the married partner who is in falsities of religion, which is increased as he or she advances in difference from the other.
I was once wandering through the streets of a great city seeking a place of lodging; and I entered a house where dwelt married partners who were of different religions. While I was ignorant of the fact the angels spoke to me and said, “We cannot stay with you in this house, because the married partners there are in discordant religion.” They perceived this from the internal disunion of their souls.
243. (8) That the fourth of the internal causes is falsity of religion. The reason is that falsity in spiritual things either takes away religion, or defiles it. It takes it away from those with whom genuine truths are falsified. It defiles it with those with whom, though there are falsities, there are not genuine truths, which therefore could not be falsified. With these there may be goods with which those falsities may be conjoined, through applications, by the Lord; for these falsities are like various discordant tones which by skillful arrangements and combinations are brought into harmony, from which there arises its agreeableness. With these there can be some conjugial love; but with those who have falsified in themselves the genuine truths of the church there cannot be. Thence comes the prevailing ignorance as to love truly conjugial or negative doubt whether it can exist. And from them also comes the insanity, seated in the minds of many, that adulteries are not evils of religion.
244. (9) That the causes above mentioned are causes of internal coldness, but with many not at the same time of external coldness. If the causes thus far indicated and established—which are causes of coldness in internals—should produce a like coldness in externals, then they would effect as many separations as there are internal coldnesses; and there are as many coldnesses as marriages of those who are in falsities of religion, who are in different religion, and who are in no religion, who have been treated of above. And yet it is known that many live together as loves, and as if in mutual friendship. But whence it is so with those who are in internal coldness shall be told in the following chapter on the causes of apparent love, friendship, and goodwill between married partners.
 There are many causes which conjoin the lower mind but yet do not conjoin souls. Among the causes are some of those recounted above in n. 183. But still the coldness lies interiorly hidden within, and here and there makes itself observed and felt. With them the affections mutually draw apart, but the thoughts, when they go out in speech and conduct, for the sake of apparent friendship and favor draw near. They therefore know nothing of the loveliness and joyousness, still less of the felicity and blessedness of love truly conjugial. These, to them, are scarcely other than fables. They are among those who derive the origins of conjugial love from the same causes as did the nine companies of the wise brought together out of the kingdoms, about which in the relation in n. 103-114.
245. The objection may be raised against the things confirmed above that still the soul from the father is propagated, although it is not conjoined with the soul of the mother, yea, although coldness residing there separates. But the reason why nevertheless souls or offspring are propagated is that the understanding of the man is not closed, but that it can be elevated into the light in which the soul is, although the love of his will is not elevated into the heat correspondent to the light there, except by a life which from natural makes him spiritual. Hence it is that nevertheless the soul is procreated; but in its descent, while it is becoming seed, it is covered over by such things as are of his natural love. From this springs hereditary evil. I will add to this a secret which is from heaven: That between the disunited souls of the two, especially of married partners, a conjunction is effected in a middle love, and that otherwise with men [homines] conceptions would not take place. Besides these things respecting conjugial coldness, and relating to the seat of it—that it is in the highest region of the mind—see the last relation of this chapter, n. 270.
246. (10) That the external causes of coldness are also numerous; and that of these the first is dissimilitude of dispositions and manners.
There are internal and there are external similitudes and dissimilitudes. The internal take their origin from no other source than from religion. For this is implanted in the souls, and through the souls is derived as a supreme inclination into the offspring. For the soul of every man derives its life from the marriage of good and truth, and from this is the church. And as this is various, and different in the different parts of the globe, consequently the souls of all men likewise are various and different. Thence, therefore, come internal similitudes and dissimilitudes; and according to these are the conjugial conjunctions that are treated of.
 But the external similitudes and dissimilitudes are not of souls, but of minds. By minds [animos] are meant the external affections and thence inclinations which are instilled, chiefly after birth, by education, social interaction, and the consequent habits. For example, it is said, “I have a mind to do this or that,” by which is meant an affection and inclination to it. Persuasions adopted respecting this or that kind of life, are also wont to form those minds. Hence come inclinations to enter into marriage even with unequals, and also to decline marriage with equals. But yet these marriages are varied, after a period of cohabitation, according to the similitudes and dissimilitudes, contracted from heredity and likewise by education; and dissimilitudes induce coldness.
 And so with dissimilitudes of manners. For example, a man or woman uncultivated, with one who is refined; a clean person, with one unclean; a contentious person, with one that is peaceable; in a word, an unmannerly man or woman with one who is mannerly. Marriages of such dissimilitudes are not unlike conjunctions of different kinds of animals with one another, as of sheep and goats, of stags and mules, of hens and geese, of sparrows and noble birds, yea, as of dogs and cats, which do not consociate because of their dissimilitudes. But in the human race it is not the faces but the habits that indicate the dissimilitudes; therefore there are coldnesses from these.
247. (11) That the second of the external causes of coldness is that conjugial love is believed to be one with promiscuous love, except that by law this is illicit and that is licit. That from this cause there is coldness, reason sees manifestly, when it considers that promiscuous love is diametrically opposite to conjugial love. Therefore when it is believed that conjugial love is one with promiscuous love each love in idea becomes the same, and then the wife is looked upon as a harlot, and marriage as uncleanness, and the man himself is an adulterer, if not in body yet in spirit. Hence it follows inevitably, that between the man and his woman there flow out contempt, loathing, aversion, and thus intense coldness. For nothing has stored up conjugial coldness within itself more than promiscuous love; and as it also passes into that coldness it may not undeservedly be called conjugial coldness itself.
248. (12) That the third of the external causes of coldness is a striving for preeminence between partners. The reason is that marriage love, among its first things, looks to a union of wills, and thence to freedom to do its pleasure. Striving after preeminence, or for rule, casts these two out of marriage; for it sunders and separates the wills into parties, and transforms freedom of action into servitude. While this striving lasts, the spirit of the one meditates violence against the other. If their minds were then opened and seen by spiritual sight, they would appear as if fighting with daggers, and it would appear that they regard each other with alternate hatred and favor—with hatred in the vehemence of their strife, and with favor while in the hope of dominion, and when they are in lust.
 After victory of one over the other, the combat withdraws from externals and betakes itself to the internals of the mind, and there abides in restless concealment. Hence to the subjugated man or slave there is coldness, and also to the victress or dominant wife. That to her also there is coldness is that there is no longer conjugial love, and the privation of that love is coldness (n. 235). Instead of conjugial love he or she has heat from preeminence; but this heat is utterly discordant with conjugial heat, yet it can agree outwardly, through the medium of lust. After tacit agreement between them it appears as if conjugial love had made friendship; but the difference between conjugial friendship and servile friendship in marriages is as the difference between light and shade, between living fire and unreal fire, yea, as between a man in full flesh and a man consisting only of skin and bone.
249. (13) The fourth of the external causes of coldness is no determination to any pursuit or business whence comes wandering lust.
Man was created for use, because use is the container of good and truth, from the marriage of which is creation, and also conjugial love, as has been shown in its own chapter. By pursuit and business are meant every application to use; for while a man is in some pursuit and business, or is in use, his mind is limited and circumscribed—as by a circle within which it is successively coordinated into a form that is truly human; within which, as from home, he sees the various lusts outside of himself, and from sanity of reason within exterminates them, and consequently also the wild insanities of promiscuous lust. Hence it comes to pass that with them conjugial heat lasts better and longer than with others.
 The contrary happens to those who give themselves up to idleness and ease; their mind is unrestrained and indeterminate, and therefore the man [homo] admits to the whole of it every vain and frivolous conceit that flows in from the world and from the body, and it bears him along into the love of them. That then also conjugial love is cast into exile is evident; for by idleness and sloth the mind is rendered stupid and the body torpid, and the whole man becomes insensible to every vital love, especially to conjugial love, from which as from a fountain go forth the activities and alacrities of life. But conjugial coldness with them is different from that coldness with others. It is indeed the privation of conjugial love, but from deficiency.
250. (14) That the fifth of the external causes of coldness is inequality of station and of condition in matters external.
There are many inequalities of station and of condition which, during the time of living together, destroy the conjugial love begun before the wedding; but they may be referred to inequalities in respect to age, to social station, and to wealth. That unequal ages induces coldness in marriages, as of a young man with an old woman, or of a youthful virgin with a decrepit man, there is no need to confirm. And that inequalities of social station in marriages induce coldness, as of a man in princely station with a servant maid, or of an illustrious matron with a servant man, is also acknowledged without confirmation. Likewise that disparity as to wealth induces coldness is plain, unless a similarity of dispositions and manners, and the application of one to the inclinations and native desires of the other consociates them. But in either case compliance by one on account of the superior station and condition of the other yields only a servile conjunction, and this is but a frigid conjunction; for with them the conjugial is not of the spirit and of the heart, but only of the mouth and in name, of which the inferior may glory but the superior blushes with shame. But in the heavens there is no inequality of age, nor of rank, nor of wealth. As respects age, all there are in the bloom of youth, and remain in it to eternity. As to station, all there regard others according to the uses that they perform; the more eminent look upon those in lower station as brethren, and do not put the dignity above the excellence of the use, but the latter above the former. And also when virgins are given in marriage they do not know of what lineage they are, for no one there knows his father on earth, but the Lord is Father of all. As regards wealth likewise, this is there the gift of attaining wisdom; according to this, riches are given to them in sufficiency. How marriages are initiated there may be seen above, n. 229.
251. (15) That the causes of separation are also several. There are separations from bed and separations from the house. The causes of separations from bed are numerous. Equally so are those of separations from the house. But here legitimate causes are treated of. As the causes of separation coincide with the causes of taking a mistress, to be treated of in their own chapter in the following part of this work, the reader is referred to that, to the end that he may see the causes in their order. The legitimate causes of separation are those that follow.
252. (16) The first cause of legitimate separation is a vitiated condition of mind. The reason of this is that conjugial love is a conjunction of minds; wherefore if the mind of one goes off in a contrary direction from that of the other the conjunction is dissolved and with it love departs. What vitiated conditions separate may appear from a recital of them. They are chiefly these: mania; frenzy; insanity; actual foolishness and idiocy; loss of memory; severe hysteric disease; extreme simplicity, so that there is no perception of good and truth; supreme obstinacy in refusing to yield to what is just and equitable; the utmost pleasure of gabbling, and talking of nothing but what is insignificant and frivolous; an unbridled propensity to divulge the secrets of home, and to quarrel, to strike, to revenge, to do mischief, to pilfer, to lie, to deceive, to blaspheme; neglect of infants; profligacy; luxury; excessive prodigality; drunkenness; filthiness; immodesty; addiction to magic and witchcraft; impiety; and many others. By legitimate causes here are not meant judicial causes, but legitimate in respect to the other partner. Separations from the house are in fact seldom decreed by a judge.
253. (17) The second cause of legitimate separation is a defective condition of the body. By defective conditions of the body are not meant accidental diseases which befall one or the other married partner during the time of marriage and which pass away, but inherent morbid conditions are meant which do not pass away.
Pathology teaches them. They are multifarious, as diseases by which the whole body is infected to a degree that may lead to fatal results by contagion. Such are malignant and pestilential fevers; leprosy; venereal diseases; gangrenes; cancers; and other like maladies. So also diseases by which the whole body becomes weighed down to such a degree that there is no consociability, and from which hurtful effluvia and noxious vapors are exhaled, either from the surface of the body or from its interiors, especially from the stomach and the lungs. On the surface of the body are malignant pocks, warts, pustules, scorbutic wasting away, virulent scab—especially if the face is defiled with them.
 From the stomach come foul, rank, fetid, and crude eructations; from the lungs, noisome and putrid breath, exhaled from apostemes, ulcers, abcesses, or from defective blood or defective lymph therein. Besides these are also other maladies of various names, as lipothymy, which is a total languidness of body and failure of strength; paralysis, which is a loosening and laxation of the membranes and ligaments that serve for motion; certain chronic diseases arising from loss of tensibility and elasticity of the nerves, or from too much density, tenacity, and acrimony of the humors; epilepsy; permanent debility from apoplexy; certain wasting diseases by which the body is consumed; the iliac passion; the celiac affection; hernia; and other like diseases.
254. (18) The third cause of legitimate separation is impotence before marriage. The reason why this is a cause of separation is that the end of marriage is the procreation of offspring, and by such it is impossible; and as they know this beforehand they purposely deprive their married partner of the hope of it, the hope which yet should nurse and strengthen their conjugial love.
255. (19) That adultery is grounds for divorce. For this there are many reasons, which are in rational light and yet at this day are concealed. It may be seen from rational light that marriages are holy, and that adulteries are profane; and thus that marriages and adulteries are diametrically opposite to each other, and that when opposite meets opposite one destroys the other, to the very last spark of its life. It is so with conjugial love when a married man with determination and thus with set purpose commits adultery. With those who know something of heaven and hell these considerations come into a clearer light of reason; for they know that marriages are in heaven and from heaven, and that adulteries are in hell and from hell; and that these two cannot be conjoined, just as heaven cannot be conjoined with hell, and that if they are brought together in a man, heaven instantly departs and hell enters in.
 This then is the reason why adultery is grounds for divorce. Therefore the Lord says:
Whosoever shall put away his wife except for fornication [scortatio], and shall marry another, committeth adultery (Matt. 19:9).
He says, if he shall put away and marry another except for promiscuity he committeth adultery, because putting away for this cause is the complete separation of minds which is called divorce; but all other puttings away, for their causes, are the separations just treated of above. If after these another wife is married, adultery is committed; but not after divorce.
256. (20) That incidental causes of coldness are also many; and that of these the first is being common from being continually permitted.
The reason why being common, from being continually permitted, is an incidental cause of coldness is that it befalls those who think of conjugial love and of the wife lasciviously, but not those who think holily of marriage, and with confidence of the wife. That from being common from being continually allowed, even joys become indifferent, and also wearisome, is manifest from plays and scenic entertainments, from musical harmonies, dances, banquets, and other like enjoyments, which in themselves are charming because enlivening. It becomes similar with cohabitation and intercourse between married partners, especially between those who have not put away the unchaste love of the sex from their love for each other, and when in want of ability they vainly think of it as common, from being continually permitted. That this commonness is a cause of coldness to them is self-evident. It is called incidental because it adds itself to intrinsic coldness as a cause, and stands with it as a reason. To remove the coldness arising also from this cause, wives, from a prudence inherent in them, by various repugnances make the permissible not permissible. But it is very different with those who judge chastely of their wives. With the angels, that it is common from being continually permitted is, for that reason, the very delight of the soul, and is the container of their conjugial love. For they are in the enjoyment of that love continually, and in ultimates according to the presence of their minds not interrupted with cares, thus from the good pleasure of judgment on the part of the husbands.
257. (21) That of the incidental causes of coldness the second is that cohabitation with the consort from covenant and law seems constrained and not free. This cause exists only among those with whom conjugial love is cold in the inmosts, and as this adds itself to the inward coldness it becomes an accessory or incidental cause. With them love outside of the conjugial by their consent and favor of it is inwardly in heat, for the coldness of the one is the heat of the other, which if not felt is yet there, yea, in the midst of the coldness; and if it were not also then present there would be no recuperation. This heat is what causes the constraint, which is increased according as the covenant by agreement, and the law by right, are regarded by one party as bonds that may not be broken. It is different if on the part of both they are unloosed.
 The contrary is with those who have abhorred love outside of the conjugial, and who think of conjugial love as heavenly, and as heaven; and the more with those who perceive that it is so. With them the covenant with its agreements and the law with its obligations are written in their hearts, and are more and more inscribed upon them continually. With them the bond of that love is not secured by covenant obligation, nor by legal enactment, but these two are inherent from creation in the love itself in which they are. From these are the bonds in the world and not the reverse. Hence it is that everything which is of that love is felt as free. There is nothing free which is not of love. I have heard from the angels that the freedom of love truly conjugial is the freest, because it is the love of loves.
258. (22) That of the incidental causes of coldness the third is affirmation by the wife, and talk by her about love. With the angels in heaven there is no refusing and repugnance on the part of wives, as there is with some on earth. With the angels in heaven there is also talk about love by the wives, and not such silence as there is with some on earth. But the reason of these differences I may not tell, as it would not be becoming of me. They may, however, be learned from the wives of the angels, who freely disclose them to their husbands, as told in four relations following the chapters; by the three wives in a hall over which I saw the golden rain,14 and by the seven who were sitting in a rose garden;15 which relations are presented to the end that all things may be disclosed which relate to the conjugial love here treated of, both in general and in particular.
259. (23) That of the incidental causes of coldness the fourth is the thought of the man by day and by night about the wife that she is willing, and on the other hand the thought of the wife about the man that he is not willing. That this is a cause of cessation of love with wives, and that it is a cause of coldness with men, is passed by without observation; for it is among the things known to husbands, who study the secrets of conjugial love, that if a man at the sight of his wife by day or by her side at night thinks that she desires or wishes, he would be chilled to the extremities; and on the other hand, that if a wife thinks of the man that he can and does not wish, she loses her love. These facts are adduced to the end that this work may be perfected, and the delights of wisdom pertaining to conjugial love be made complete.
260. (24) That as is the coldness in the mind, so is it also in the body; and that according to the increase of that coldness the externals of the body also are closed. It is believed at this day that the mind of man is in his head and nothing of it in the body, when the fact is that both the soul and the mind are in the head as well as in the body. For the soul and mind are the man, and together constitute the spirit which lives after death. That this is in a perfect human form has been abundantly shown in our treatises. Hence it is that as soon as a man thinks any thought he can instantly utter it by the mouth which is of the body, and at the same moment can represent it by gesture; and as soon as he wills anything he can instantly act and effect it, through the members of the body, which could not be if the soul and the mind were not together in the body, and did not make his spiritual man. This being so it may be seen that, while conjugial love is in the mind, it is like to itself in the body; and because love is heat, that from the interiors, it opens the externals of the body; but on the other hand that the privation of it, which is coldness, from the interiors closes the externals of the body. From these considerations the cause of the fact that ability abides with the angels to eternity is very manifest; and the cause of deficiency from coldness with men.
261. To this I will add three relations. First:
In the upper northerly quarter near the east, in the spiritual world, there are places of instruction for boys, and for youths, and for men, and also for old men. To these places are sent all who die in infancy and who are educated in heaven; likewise all who have newly come from the world and who desire knowledge respecting heaven and hell. This region is near to the east in order that all may be instructed by influx from the Lord; for the Lord is the east, because he is in the sun there, which is pure love from him. Hence the heat from that sun in its essence is love, and the light from it in its essence is wisdom. These are inspired into them by the Lord from that sun, and they are inspired according to reception, and reception is according to their love of becoming wise. After periods of instruction those that have become intelligent are sent out from there, and are called the Lord’s disciples. They are sent first into the west; and those that do not remain there go on into the south, and some through the south into the east; and they are introduced into the societies where their dwellings are to be.
 Once when I was meditating on heaven and hell I began to desire a universal knowledge of the state of both, knowing that he who has a knowledge of universals, can afterwards comprehend the particulars, because these are in them as parts are in a whole. With this desire I looked towards that region in the northerly quarter near the east where the places of instruction were, and by a way then opened to me I walked thither, and entered one of the schools where young men were. And I went to the chief teachers who were giving instruction there and asked them if they knew the universals respecting heaven and hell.
 They replied that they had some little knowledge of them, “But if we look towards the east, to the Lord, we shall be enlightened and know.” And they did so and said, “The universals of hell are three; the universals of hell are however diametrically opposite to those of heaven. The universals of hell are three loves: the love of ruling from the love of self; the love of possessing the goods of others from the love of the world; and promiscuous love. The universals of heaven are the three loves opposite to these: the love of ruling from the love of use; the love of possessing the goods of the world from the love of performing uses by means of them; and love truly conjugial.” This said, with a valediction of peace I left and returned home. After I reached home it was told me from heaven, “Examine these three universals, above and below, and afterwards we shall see them in your hand.” It was said “in your hand” because all things that a man surveys with the understanding appear to the angels as written upon his hands.
262. After this I examined the first universal love of hell, which is the love of ruling from the love of self; and then the universal love of heaven corresponding to it, which is the love of ruling from the love of use. For I was not permitted to consider the one love without the other, because the understanding does not perceive the one love without the other, for they are opposites. Wherefore in order that each may be perceived they must be placed in contrast, one against the other. For a comely and beautiful face shines forth by contrast with a face that is uncomely and deformed. While I was examining the love of ruling from the love of self it was given me to perceive that this love is in the utmost degree infernal, and hence is with those who are in the deepest hell; and that the love of ruling from the love of use is in the highest degree heavenly and is therefore with those who are in the highest heaven.
 The reason why the love of ruling from the love of self is to the last degree infernal is that to rule from the love of self is from man’s own, and man’s own is by nativity evil itself, and evil itself is diametrically contrary to the Lord; wherefore the more men progress in that evil the more they deny God and the holy things of the church, and adore themselves and nature. Let those, I pray, who are in that love explore it within themselves and they will see. This love is also of such a nature that insofar as the reins are given to it, which is when the impossible does not prevent, it rushes on from step to step, yea, even to the highest; and is not bounded there, but if there be no step higher it laments and grieves.
 Among politicians this love mounts up until they wish to be kings and emperors, and if possible that they might dominate over all things in the world, and be called kings of kings and emperors of emperors. But among clergymen the same love ascends so far that they would even be gods, and as far as possible rule over all things of heaven, and be called gods of gods. It will be seen in what follows that neither the former nor the latter acknowledge any god. On the other hand they that desire to rule from the love of uses do not wish to rule from themselves, but from the Lord—since the love of uses is from the Lord and is the Lord himself. They regard dignities no otherwise than as means of performing uses. These they place far above dignities; but the former place dignities far above uses.
263. While I was reflecting upon these things it was said to me by an angel from the Lord, “Just now you shall see and be confirmed by seeing what the infernal quality of this love is.”
Then suddenly on the left the earth opened and I saw a devil coming up out of hell, who had on his head a square cap pressed down over the forehead even to the eyes, his face full of pustules as of a burning fever, his eyes ferocious, his bosom swelling into a rhomb. Out of his mouth belched forth a fume as of a furnace; his loins were all aflame; in the place of feet were bony ankles without flesh; and from his body exhaled a stinking and unclean heat.
 I was terrified at the sight of him, and called out to him, “Do not come near. Tell me whence you are.” He answered hoarsely, “I am from the lower regions, and am there in a society with two hundred which is preeminent above all societies. We there are all emperors of emperors, kings of kings, dukes of dukes, and princes of princes. No one there is a mere emperor, or a mere king, duke, and prince. We sit there upon thrones of thrones, and send forth mandates thence into all the world and beyond.”
I said unto him, “Do you not see that you are insane from the fantasy of preeminence?”
He replied, “How can you speak so? We altogether see ourselves to be such, and are also acknowledged to be such by our companions.”
Hearing this, I did not wish to say again, “You are insane,” for from the fantasy he really was insane. And it was given me to know that this devil while he lived in this world was only the steward of the house of someone, and that he was then so elated in spirit that he despised the whole human race in comparison with himself, and indulged the fantasy that he was worthier than a king, or even an emperor, from which pride he had denied God, and counted all holy things of the church as nothing to him, but of some account to the stupid multitude.
 At length I asked him, “How long do you two hundred thus glory among yourselves there?”
He said, “To eternity. But those of us who torment others for denying their preeminence sink down, for we are allowed to glory, but are not allowed to do harm to others.”
I asked again, “Do you know what is the lot of those who sink down?”
He said, “They sink into a kind of prison where they are called viler than the vile, or most vile, and they work.”
Then I said to this devil, “Have a care then that you also do not sink down.”
264. After this the earth opened again, but on the right, and I saw another devil rising up, upon whose head was as it were a tiara twined about with the coils, as of a serpent, whose head rose up from the top of it. His face was leprous from the forehead to the chin, and both hands also. His loins were naked and black as soot, through which fire gleamed darkly as of a hearth; and the ankles of his feet were like two vipers. Seeing him the former devil fell upon his knees and adored him.
“Why do you do that?” I asked.
He answered, “He is the God of heaven and earth, and is omnipotent.”
And then I asked the other, “What do you say to that?”
He replied, “What should I say? I have all power over heaven and hell. The lot of all souls is in my hand.”
I asked again, “How can he who is emperor of emperors thus submit himself, and you receive his adoration?”
He answered, “He is nevertheless my servant. What is an emperor before God? In my right hand is the thunderbolt of excommunication.”
 I then said, “How can you be so insane? In the world you were only a canon; and because you labored under the fantasy that you also had the keys, and thence the power of binding and loosing, you raised your spirit up to such a height of insanity that now you believe you are God himself.”
Angry at this, he swore that he was, and that the Lord has no power in heaven “because he has transferred it all to us. We need only command, and heaven and hell reverently obey. If we send anyone to hell the devils immediately receive him; and so do the angels anyone whom we send to heaven.”
I asked further, “How many are you in your society?”
He said, “Three hundred; and we all there are gods; but I am the god of gods.”
 After this the earth opened under their feet and each sank down into his hell. And it was given me to see that there were workhouses under their hells into which those that do harm to others sink down; for his own fantasy is permitted to everyone in hell, and also to glory in it, but he is not allowed to do harm to another.
Those who are there are such because man is then in his spirit, and the spirit after it is separated from the body comes into the full liberty of acting according to his affections and his thoughts thence.
 Afterwards it was granted me to look into their hells. The hell where they were emperors of emperors and kings of kings was full of all uncleanness, and they appeared as various wild beasts with ferocious eyes. And so likewise in the other hell where they are gods and god of gods. In this hell dreadful birds of night also appeared flying about them which are called ochim and ijim. Thus did the images of their fantasies appear to me. From these experiences it was made evident what is the nature of the political love of self, and of the ecclesiastical love of self, that the one is to wish to be gods, and the other to wish to be emperors; and that men do thus wish, and strive to attain it, insofar as the reins are given to these loves.
265. After this a hell was opened where I saw two, one sitting on a bench holding his feet in a basket full of serpents, which appeared to be creeping up over the breast to his neck, and the other sitting upon a blazing donkey, at whose sides red serpents were crawling, with necks and heads uplifted, and following the rider. I was told that these were popes, who had deprived emperors of their dominion and defamed and ill-treated them at Rome, whither they came supplicating and adoring them; and that the basket in which serpents appeared and the blazing donkey with serpents at its sides were representations of their love of ruling from the love of self, but that such things do not appear to any except to those who look thither from a distance. There were several canons present of whom I asked whether these were those same popes. They said they had been acquainted with them, and knew that they were.
266. After I had seen these sad and dreadful things, I looked around and saw two angels standing and conversing not far from me, one clad in a woolen toga bright with flamy purple16 and under it a tunic of shining linen, the other in similar raiment of scarlet, with a tiara, set, on the right side of it, with a number of rubies. I approached them, gave the salutation of peace, and reverently asked, “Why are you here below?”
They replied, “We were sent here from heaven by the Lord’s command, to speak with you about the blessed lot of those who desire to rule from the love of uses. We are worshipers of the Lord. I am the prince of a society. The other is the high priest there.”
 The prince said he was a servant of his society, for that he served it by performing uses; and the other said he was the minister of the church there, because in their service he administered holy things for the uses of their souls; and that they both are in perpetual joys, from the eternal happiness that is in them from the Lord.
And they said that all things in that society are resplendent and magnificent, resplendent with gold and precious stones, and magnificent from palaces and paradises: “The reason is that our love of ruling is not from the love of self, but from the love of uses, and as the love of uses is from the Lord, all good uses in the heavens are therefore resplendent and refulgent. And as in our society we all are in this love, the atmosphere there appears golden from the light there which is derived from the flamy quality of the sun. The flamy quality of the sun corresponds to that love.”
 At these words there appeared also to me a like sphere about them, and an aroma was perceived therefrom, as I also told them; and I asked that they would add something more to what they had said about the love of uses.
And they continued, saying, “The dignities in which we are we indeed sought to attain; but for no other end than that we might the more fully perform uses, and more widely extend them. And we are also surrounded with honor, and accept it, yet not on our own account, but for the good of the society. For our brethren and consociates, who are of the common people there, scarcely know but that the honors pertaining to our dignities are in us, and hence that the uses we perform are from ourselves. But we feel otherwise. We feel that the honors of the dignities are outside of us and that they are in fact as garments with which we are clothed; but that the uses we perform are from the love of them within us from the Lord, and that this love receives its blessedness from communication with others through uses. And we know by experience that so far as we perform uses from the love of them the love increases, and with the love the wisdom by which the communication is effected; but that so far as we retain the uses within us, and do not communicate them, the blessedness perishes, and the uses then become as food hidden away in the stomach, which does not, by being distributed, nourish the body and its parts, but remains undigested and produces nausea. In a word, the whole heaven is nothing but a container of uses, from things first to last. And what are uses but love of the neighbor in act? And what but this love holds the heavens together?”
 Hearing this I asked, “How can anyone know whether he performs uses from the love of self or from the love of uses? Every man good as well as evil performs uses, and performs the uses from some love. Suppose that in the world there were a society of mere devils, and a society composed only of angels; I think the devils in their society, from the fire of the love of self, and the brightness of their own glory, would perform as many uses as the angels in theirs. Who then can know from which love and from what origin the uses are?”
 To this the two angels responded, “Devils perform uses for the sake of themselves, and for the sake of fame, that they may be advanced to honors or acquire wealth. But not for these do the angels perform uses, but for the sake of the uses, from the love of them. Man cannot distinguish these uses; but the Lord distinguishes them. Everyone who believes in the Lord and shuns evils as sins performs uses from the Lord; but everyone who does not believe in the Lord, and does not shun evils as sins, performs uses from himself and for the sake of himself. This is the distinction between uses performed by devils and uses performed by angels.”
Having said this the two angels went away, and from afar they appeared to be carried like Elijah in a chariot of fire and taken up into their heaven.
267. The second relation:
After some interval of time I entered a certain grove, and was walking about there, in meditation upon those who are in the lust and thence in the fantasy of possessing the things which are of the world, when at some distance from me I saw two angels conversing together, and by turns looking at me. I therefore went nearer, and as I approached they spoke to me and said, “We perceive within us that you are meditating on what we are saying, or that we are speaking on the subject of your meditation, which comes from a reciprocal communication of affections.”
 And so I asked them what was the subject of their conversation. They said they were speaking of fantasy, of lust, and of intelligence, and just now about those who delight themselves with the vision and imagination of possessing all things in the world. I then asked them to express their minds on those three, lust, fantasy, and intelligence.
Beginning their discourse they said that everyone is interiorly in lust from birth; but is in intelligence exteriorly by education. And no one is in intelligence interiorly, that is in spirit, except from the Lord: “For everyone is withheld from the lust of evil and kept in intelligence according to his looking to the Lord and at the same time conjunction with him. Without this man is nothing but lust; but still in externals, or as to the body, he is in intelligence from education. For man lusts after honors and riches, or eminence and wealth; and he does not attain these two unless he appears moral and spiritual, thus intelligent and wise, and therefore from infancy he learns to appear so; which is the reason why as soon as he comes among men or into company, he inverts his spirit, draws it away from lust, and speaks and acts from the idea of what is decorous and honorable which he has learned from infancy, and retains in the memory of his body; and he takes the greatest care that nothing of the insanity of lust, in which his spirit is, shall come forth.
 “Hence every man who is not inwardly led by the Lord is a dissembler, a deceiver, a hypocrite, and thus an apparent man and yet not a man; of whom it may be said that his shell or body is wise and his kernel or spirit insane; and that his external is human and his internal bestial. Such men look upward with the back of the head and downwards with the front and so walk as if oppressed with heaviness, with the head drooping and the face prone to the earth. When they put off the body and become spirits and are set free, they become the insanity of their own lust; for those that are in the love of self have a burning desire to rule over the universe, yea, to extend its limits further to amplify their dominion. They never see the end.
“They who are in the love of the world desire to possess all things thereof, and grieve and envy if any of its treasures lie hidden with any others. To the end therefore that such may not become mere lusts, and thus not men, it is given them in the natural17 world to think from fear of the loss of reputation, and thus of honor and gain, and also from fear of the law and its penalty. And it is also given them to apply the mind to some study or occupation, by which they are kept in their externals, and thus in a state of intelligence, however delirious and insane they are inwardly.”
 I then asked whether all who are in lust are also in the fantasy of it. They replied that those who think within themselves inwardly, and indulge too much in their own imagination by talking with themselves, are in the fantasy of their lust; for they almost separate their spirit from its connection with the body, and by vision inundate the understanding, and fatuously delight themselves as if with universal possession. Into this delirium the man is let after death who has abstracted his spirit from the body, and who was not willing to withdraw from the delight of the delirium by thinking from religion about evils and falsities, and still less about the unbridled love of self, that it is destructive of love of the Lord, and about the unbridled love of the world, that it is destructive of love towards the neighbor.
268. After this a desire came upon the two angels, and also upon me, to see those who from love of the world are in the visionary lust or fantasy of the possession of all riches. And we perceived that this desire was inspired to the end that they might be known. We therefore looked at each other and said, “Let us go.”
Their places of abode were under the earth beneath our feet, yet above hell; and an opening appeared and a ladder there. By this we descended, and were told that they must be approached from the east, lest we should enter into the dark cloud of their fantasy, and our understanding and at the same time our vision be overshadowed.
 And lo, there appeared a dwelling constructed of reeds, and thus full of chinks, standing in the thick cloud which flowed continually, like smoke, through the chinks of three of the sides. We entered and saw fifty here and fifty there sitting upon the benches, and turned away from the east and south, they looked towards the west and north. Before each one was a table, and on the table purses, distended, and around the purses abundance of gold coin.
We asked them, “Are these the riches of all in the world?”
They said, “Not of all in the world but of all in the kingdom.”
Their speech had a hissing sound; and they appeared of rotund face, which had a reddish glow like a snail shell; and the pupil of the eye glittered as it were on a plane of green which was from the light of fantasy.
We stood in their midst and asked, “Do you believe that you possess all the riches of the kingdom?”
They responded, “We do possess them.” Then we asked, “Which of you?” They answered, “Each one.”
And we asked, “How each one? You are many.”
They said, “Each one of us knows that all his are mine. It is not permitted anyone to think, still less to say, ‘Mine are not yours,’ but he may think and say, ‘Yours are mine.’”
The coins on the table appeared as of pure gold, even to us. But when we let in light from the east, they were little grains of gold which by common united fantasy they thus magnified. They said that everyone who entered there had to bring some gold with him, which they divide into small bits, and these into little grains which by the unanimous power of fantasy they enlarge into coins of larger form.
 Then we said, “Were you not born men of reason? Whence have you this visionary foolishness?”
They said, “We know that it is an imaginary vanity, but as it delights the interiors of our minds we come in here and are delighted as if from the possession of all things. But we do not remain here, except for a few hours, and when these are passed we go out and just as often a sound mind returns to us. But yet, at alternate periods our visionary pleasure comes over us and makes us by turns come in again, and by turns go out, so that we are alternately wise and insane. We know also that a hard lot awaits those who craftily deprive others of their goods.”
We asked, “What lot?”
They said, “They are swallowed up and cast naked into some infernal prison where they are made to work for clothing and for food, and after that, for a few small coins, which they collect, and on which they set their heart’s joy. But if they do evil to their companions they are made to give up a part of their little coins as a fine.”
269. After this we ascended from these lower regions into the south, where we were before; and there the angels related many things worthy to be remembered, respecting lust not visionary or fantastical, in which every man is from nativity. “While they are in it they are as it were infatuated, and yet seem to themselves as wise in the highest degree; and that by turns they are remitted from this infatuation into the rational, which with them is in the externals, in which state they see, acknowledge, and confess their insanity; and yet from this rational state they long for their insane state, and also cast themselves into it, as from what is forced and undelightful into what is free and delightful. Thus lust and not intelligence is inwardly pleasing to them.”
 “There are three universal loves of which, from creation, every man is composed: the love of the neighbor which is also the love of performing uses; the love of the world which is also the love of possessing wealth; and the love of self which is also the love of ruling over others. The love of the neighbor or the love of performing uses is a spiritual love; but the love of the world which is also the love of possessing wealth is a material love; and love of self or the love of ruling over others is a corporeal love.
 “Man is man when the love of the neighbor or the love of doing uses makes the head, and the love of the world makes the body, and the love of self, the feet. But if the love of the world forms the head, man is not a man—other than as it were a humpback; and when the love of self makes the head, he is not a man standing on his feet but on his palms, with his head downwards and the buttocks upwards. When the love of the neighbor forms the head, and the other two loves in order make the body and the feet, man appears from heaven of an angelic countenance, with a beautiful rainbow about his head; and if the love of the world makes the head he appears from heaven with a pallid countenance, as of a dead person, with a yellow circle about his head; but if the love of self makes the head he appears from heaven of dusky countenance, with a white circle around the head.”
At this I asked, “What do the circles about the head represent?”
They answered, “They represent their intelligence. A white circle around the head with a dusky countenance represents that his intelligence is in things external, or around him, but in things internal or within him is insanity. Such a man also is sane while he is in the body, but insane when in the spirit. And no man is sane in the spirit except from the Lord, which comes to pass when he is born and created again or anew from him.”
 After these things were said the earth opened at the left, and I saw a devil coming up through the opening having a white lucid circle around his head, and I demanded, “Who are you?”
He said, “I am Lucifer, son of the dawn. And because I made myself like the most high I was cast down.”
Yet he was not, but believed himself to be that Lucifer.
I said, “As you were cast down how can you rise again out of hell?”
He replied, “I am a devil there, but here I am an angel of light. Do you not see my head encircled with a lucid sphere? And you will see also if you wish that I am super-moral among the moral, super-rational among the rational, yea, super-spiritual among the spiritual. I can also preach, and also have preached.”
I asked, “What have you preached?”
He said, “Against defrauders, against adulterers, and against all infernal loves. Yea, then I called Lucifer [myself] a devil, and proclaimed with an oath against him [against myself] and for this was exalted with praises even to heaven. Hence it is that I am called the son of the dawn. And, whereat I myself have wondered, when I was in the pulpit I thought no otherwise than that I was speaking rightly and properly. But I have discovered to myself the reason. It was because I was in externals, and these were then separated from my internals; but though I discovered this to myself, I could not change myself, because on account of my pride I did not look to God.”
 I then asked him, “How could you speak in this way when you yourself are a defrauder, yourself an adulterer, and yourself a devil?”
He replied, “I am one person when I am in externals or in the body, and another when in internals or in the spirit. In the body I am an angel, but in the spirit a devil. For in the body I am in understanding, but in spirit in the will, and my understanding carries me upwards, but the will carries me downwards; and when I am in understanding a white halo encircles my head, but when the understanding surrenders itself entirely to my will, and becomes its understanding, which is our final lot, then the halo grows dark and perishes, and when this comes to pass we are no longer able to ascend into this light.”
Afterwards he spoke of his twofold state, external and internal, more rationally than anyone else; but suddenly when he saw the angels with me he was inflamed in face and voice, and became black, even as to the circle about his head, and sank down into hell through the opening by which he rose. Those standing by formed this conclusion from the things seen: That a man is such as is the quality of his love, and not such as the quality of his understanding, because the love easily carries the understanding over to its side, and subordinates it.
 I then asked the angels, “Whence have devils such rationality?”
They said, “It is from the glory of the love of self. For the love of self is encircled with glory, and glory elevates the understanding even into the light of heaven. For with every man the understanding can be elevated according to its knowledges, but not the will, except by a life according to the truths of the church and of reason. Hence it is that even atheists who are in the glory of reputation from the love of self, and thence in the pride of their own intelligence, rejoice in a sublimer rationality than many others; but it is when they are in the thought of the understanding, and not when they are in the affection of the will, and the affection of the will has possession of the internal of man, but the thought of the understanding of his external.”
Further, the angel told the reason why man is constituted of the three loves above mentioned, of the love of uses, of the love of the world, and of the love of self, which is, so that he may think from God though as if from himself. He said that the highest things in man are turned upwards to God, the intermediate things outwards to the world, and the lowest things downwards to himself, and because these are turned downwards man thinks just as if from himself, although from God.
270. The third relation:
One morning after sleep my thought was deeply engaged on some of the secret things of conjugial love; and finally on this: In what region of the human mind does love truly conjugial reside, and hence in what region does conjugial coldness reside? I knew that there are three regions of the human mind, one above another, and that natural love dwells in the lowest region, spiritual love in the higher, and celestial love in the highest, and that in each region there is a marriage of good and truth; and as good is of love and truth is of wisdom, that in each region there is a marriage of love and wisdom; and that this marriage is the same as the marriage of the will and the understanding, since the will is the receptacle of love and the understanding is the receptacle of wisdom.
 While I was in the depth of this thought, lo, I saw two swans flying towards the north, and presently two birds of paradise flying towards the south, and also two turtledoves flying in the east; and as I followed their flight with my sight I saw that the two swans bent their way from the north towards the east, likewise the two birds of paradise from the south; and that they joined the two turtledoves in the east and flew together to a certain lofty palace there, surrounded by olive trees, palms, and beeches. The palace had three tiers of windows one above another; and as I was directing my attention to them I saw the swans fly into the palace through windows opened in the lowest tier, the birds of paradise through windows opened in the middle tier, and the turtledoves through windows opened in the highest tier.
 As I observed this an angel stood by, and said, “Do you understand the things you have seen?”
I replied, “In some small degree.”
He said, “This palace represents the dwelling places of conjugial love as they are in the human mind. The highest part of it, into which the turtledoves entered, represents the highest region of the mind, where conjugial love dwells in the love of good with its wisdom; the middle part into which the birds of paradise entered represents the middle region, where conjugial love dwells in the love of truth with its intelligence; and the lowest part into which the swans entered represents the lowest region of the mind, where conjugial love dwells in the love of what is just and right with its knowledge.
 These are also signified by the three pairs of birds—the pair of turtledoves signify conjugial love of the highest region, the pair of birds of paradise conjugial love of the middle region, and the pair of swans conjugial love of the lowest region. Like things are signified by the three kinds of trees around the palace, the olives, the palms, and the beeches. We, in heaven, call the highest region of the mind celestial, the middle spiritual, and the lowest natural; and we perceive them as habitations in a house, one above another, and the ascent from one to another by degrees, as by stairs; and in each part as it were two apartments, one for love, the other for wisdom; and in front as it were a bed chamber, where love with its wisdom, or good with its truth, or, what is the same, where the will with its understanding consociate in bed. In that palace all the secrets of conjugial love stand forth as in effigy.”
 Hearing these things, and kindled with a desire to see the palace, I asked whether it is granted anyone to enter in and view it, as it is a representative palace. He answered, “To none but those in the third heaven, because to them every representative of love and wisdom becomes real. From them I heard what I have related to you. And this also, that love truly conjugial dwells in the highest region in the midst of mutual love, in the marriage chamber or apartment of the will, and also in the midst of the perceptions of wisdom, in the marriage chamber or apartment of the understanding; and that they are consociated in bed in the bed chamber which is at the front and in the east.”
I asked, “Why are there two marriage chambers?”
He said, “The husband is in the marriage chamber of the understanding, and the wife in the marriage chamber of the will.”
 And I asked, “Since conjugial love dwells there, where then is conjugial coldness?”
He answered, “That also is in the highest region, but only in the marriage chamber of the understanding, the marriage chamber of the will there being closed. For the understanding with its truths can as often as it pleases ascend by a spiral stairway into the highest region, into its marriage chamber; but if the will with the good of its love does not at the same time ascend into the consociate marriage chamber, this is shut, and there comes coldness into the other, and this is conjugial coldness. The understanding, when there is such coldness toward the wife, looks down from this highest region to the lowest, and descends also if not restrained by fear, that it may be warmed there by illicit fire.”
Having said this, he would have told still more about conjugial love, from its effigies in that palace, but he said, “Enough for the present. First inquire whether these things are above the common understanding. If they are, why say more? But if they are not, more will be disclosed.”
Causes of Apparent Love, Friendship, and Goodwill in Marriage
271. As the causes of coldness and separations have been treated of, it follows in order that the causes of apparent love, friendship, and goodwill in marriages should also be treated of. For it is known that although at this day coldness separates the minds [animos] of married pairs, nevertheless they dwell together and procreate—which would not be if there were not also loves that are apparent, and at times similar to or emulative of the heat of genuine love. That these appearances are necessities and utilities, and that without them houses, and therefore societies, could not hold together, will be seen in what follows.
Besides this, some conscientious person may labor under the idea that disagreements of minds [mentium] between them and their consort, and the consequent internal alienations, are their own fault, and will be imputed to them, and they grieve at heart on that account. But as internal differences are not in their power to help, it is enough for them to quiet the troubles that arise from conscience, by apparent loves and goodwill; and thence also friendship may return in which conjugial love on his part lies concealed, even if not on the part of the other.
But this chapter, on account of the number of the varieties of this subject matter, shall be divided like the former into sections. Its sections are these:
(1) That in the natural world almost all can be conjoined as to external affections, but not as to internal if these disagree and appear.
(2) That in the spiritual world all are conjoined according to internal affections, and not according to external unless these act as one with the internal.
(3) That the affections according to which matrimony is commonly contracted in the world are external.
(4) But that if there are not internal affections within, which conjoin the minds, matrimony is loosened in the house.
(5) That nevertheless matrimony in the world is to endure to the end of the life of both.
(6) That in cases of matrimony in which internal affections do not conjoin there are external affections which simulate internal, and consociate.
(7) That from these come apparent love, or apparent friendship and goodwill between married partners.
(8) That these appearances are conjugial simulations which are laudable, because useful and necessary.
(9) That these conjugial simulations with a spiritual man conjoined to a natural, savor of justice and judgment.
(10) That these conjugial simulations with natural men savor of prudence for various causes.
(11) That they are for the sake of amendment and for accommodation.
(12) That they are for the sake of preserving order in domestic affairs, and for mutual help.
(13) That they are for the sake of the unanimous care of infants and in respect to children.
(14) That they are for the sake of peace in the house.
(15) That they are for the sake of reputation out of the house.
(16) That they are for the sake of various favors expected from the married partner, or from his or her kindred, and thus for fear of the loss of them.
(17) That they are for the sake of having blemishes excused, and thus for avoidance of disrepute.
(18) That they are for the sake of reconciliation.
(19) That if on the part of the wife goodwill does not cease when faculty ceases with the man, there may spring up a friendship emulating conjugial friendship as they grow old.
(20) That there are different kinds of apparent love and friendship between married partners, one of whom is subjugated, and is therefore subject to the other.
(21) That there are infernal marriages in the world between married partners who inwardly are the bitterest enemies and outwardly like the most intimate friends.
Now follows the explanation of these.
272. (1) That in the natural world almost all can be conjoined as to external affections, but not as to internal affections if these disagree and appear. The reason is that in the world man is endowed with a material body, and this is filled with cupidities, which are there as the dregs that precipitate themselves to the bottom when the must of wine is clarified. Of such things do the materials consist, of which the bodies of men in the world are composed. Hence it is that the internal affections, which are of the mind [mens], do not appear, and with many scarcely a trace of them shows through. For either the body absorbs and involves them in its dregs, or from the simulation learned from infancy hides them deeply from the sight of others; and thereby one lets himself into the state of any affection that he observes in another, and attracts his affection to himself, and thus they conjoin themselves. The reason why they conjoin is that every affection has its delight, and the delights bind together the external minds [animos]. But it would be otherwise if internal affections like external appeared to the sight in face and gesture, and to the ear in the tone of the voice, or if their delights were perceived by the nostrils, or scented as they are in the spiritual world. Then, if they should differ so far as to be discordant, they would separate the mindsone from the other, and they would draw apart to a distance according to the perception of antipathy. From these considerations it is clear that in the natural world nearly all can be conjoined as to external affections, but not as to internal affections if these disagree and appear.
273. (2) That in the spiritual world all are conjoined according to internal affections, and not according to external, unless these act as one with the internal. The reason is that the material body—which as has just been said above was able to receive and manifest the forms of all affections—has then been cast off, and, denuded of that body, man is in his own internal affections, which his body before concealed. Hence it is that these homogeneities and heterogeneities, or sympathies and antipathies, are there not only felt, but also appear—in the face, in speech, and in gesture; wherefore similitudes are there conjoined and dissimilitudes are separated. This is the reason why the universal heaven is arranged by the Lord according to all the varieties of the affections of the love of good and of truth; and hell on the contrary according to all the varieties of the affections of the love of evil and of falsity.
 Since angels and spirits, equally with men in the world, have internal and external affections, and as internal affections cannot there be concealed by the external, they show through and manifest themselves. Hence with them, both are brought into similitude and correspondence, after which their internal affections through the external are effigied in their faces, are perceived in the tones of their speech, and are also apparent in the gestures of their deportment. That angels and spirits have affections, internal and external, is from the fact that they have a mind and a body, and affections and thence thoughts are of the mind, and sensations and thence pleasures are of the body.
 It often occurs there after death that friends meet, and their friendship in the former world comes to mind, and then they believe they are to associate in a life of friendship as before. But when that consociation, which is only of the external affections, is perceived in heaven, there comes a separation according to the internals; and then from that meeting together some are sent away to the north, and some into the west, and each to such distance from the other that they never see or know each other more. For in their places of abode they are changed in face, which becomes the effigy of their internal affections. From this it is plain that in the spiritual world all are conjoined according to internal affections, and not according to external unless these act as one with the internal.
274. (3) That the affections according to which matrimony is commonly contracted in the world are external. This is because internal affections are rarely considered, and if considered their similitude is not seen in the woman; for by native gift she withdraws her internal affections into the interior recesses of her mind. The external affections which induce men to contract matrimony are many. The first affection of this age is for the enlargement of family estate by wealth, both that they may be enriched and that they may have abundance; another is aspiration after honors, either to be held in high esteem, or to be in an enlarged state of fortune. Besides these, there are various allurements and lusts, neither do these give room for searching into the agreements of internal affections. From these few considerations it is clear that matrimony is commonly contracted in the world according to external affections.
275. (4) But that if there are not internal affections within, which conjoin the minds, matrimony is loosened in the house. It is said in the house, because it is between them privately. This comes to pass when the first fires, kindled at the time of betrothal and burning into a flame as the wedding approaches, afterwards, on account of discordance of internal affections, grow successively less ardent, and finally pass away into coldness. It is known that then the external affections, which led and lured them into matrimony, are sundered so that they no longer conjoin. That coldness arises from various causes, internal, external, and incidental, which all derive their streamlets from the dissimilitude of internal inclinations, has been confirmed in the preceding chapter. From this the truth is evident that if there are not internal affections within the external, which conjoin the minds [mentes], matrimony is loosened in the house.
276. (5) That nevertheless matrimony in the world is to endure to the end of life. This is stated that there may be presented more manifestly to the reason the necessity, the utility, and the truth, that where there is not genuine conjugial love it is yet to be feigned, or to have it appear as if there were. It would not be so if marriages entered into were not covenanted to the end of life, but were dissolvable at will, as they were with the Israelitish nation, which arrogated to itself the liberty to put away wives for whatever cause, as appears from these words in Matthew:
The Pharisees came unto Jesus, saying, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And when Jesus answered, that it is not lawful to put away a wife and marry another except for marital unfaithfulness, they replied that yet Moses commanded to give her a bill of divorcement and put her away; and the disciples said, If the case of a man with a wife be so it is not expedient to marry (Matt. 19:3-10).
 As the marriage covenant is therefore a covenant for life, it follows that appearances of love and friendship between married partners are necessities. That the matrimony contracted is to endure to the end of life in the world is from Divine law; and because it is from this, it is also from rational law; and thence from civil law. It is from the Divine law that a man may not put away his wife and marry another except for promiscuity, as above; it is from rational law, because this is founded upon the spiritual—for Divine law and rational law are one law. From the latter and the former, or through the latter from the former may be seen the great number of enormities, and the destructions of societies that would come from the18 dissolutions of marriages or the putting away of wives before death at the pleasure of the husband. Those enormities, and the destructions of societies, may be realized in some fullness from the discussion concerning the origin of conjugial love by those gathered together from the nine kingdoms, in the relation at n. 103-115, to which there is no need to superadd further reasons. But these reasons do not prevent the permission of separations for their own causes, of which above at n. 252-254; and also of taking a mistress, of which in part two.
277. (6) That in cases of matrimony in which internal affections do not conjoin there are external affections which simulate internal and consociate. By internal affections are meant mutual inclinations in the minds of both which are from heaven; and by external affections are meant inclinations in the mind of both which are from the world. These affections or inclinations are indeed equally of the mind, but they occupy the lower region of it, but those the higher region. But both being allotted their seat in the mind, it may be believed that they are alike and agree; but though not alike they can yet appear as if alike, and with some they exist as conformities, but with others as soothing simulations.
 There is implanted in each from the first covenant of marriage a certain community, which though they disagree in minds [animis], yet remains inseated, as community of possessions, and with many a community of uses, and of the various necessities of the household, and thence community also of thoughts, and of certain secrets. There is community also of the bed, and community in the love of infants, besides others, which likewise are inscribed upon their minds because upon the conjugial covenant. From these especially come the external affections that resemble internal. Those, however, that only simulate them are partly from the same origin, and partly from another. But both are treated of in what follows.
278. (7) That from these come apparent love, apparent friendship, and goodwill between married partners. Apparent loves, friendships, and goodwill between married partners follow from the conjugial covenant binding to the end of life, and from the conjugial community thereby inscribed upon the parties to the covenant—whence the external affections are born that resemble internal, referred to just above. And from other causes, which are the uses and the necessities, whence conjunctive or simulated external affections arise in part, whereby external love appears like internal, and external friendship like internal friendship.
279. (8) That these appearances are conjugial simulations which are laudable, because useful and necessary. They are called simulations because they exist between those who disagree in mind, and from these disagreements are inwardly in coldness. When, nevertheless, they in externals live a consociated life, as is proper and becoming; the interaction in their dwelling together may be called simulations, but conjugial simulations, which being laudable because for the sake of uses, differ entirely from hypocritical simulations; for by them all those goods are provided for that are recounted in order below, in sections 11-20. That they are laudable from the fact that they are necessities is because without them those goods would be banished, and yet the cohabitation is enjoined, by the covenant and by law, and is therefore incumbent upon them both as a duty.
280. (9) That these conjugial simulations, with a spiritual man conjoined to a natural, savor of justice and judgment. The cause of it is that what the spiritual man does, he does from justice and judgment, and therefore does not see the simulations as estranged from his internal affections but coupled with them; for he acts seriously and looks to amendment as an end, and if this does not follow he looks to accommodation for the sake of order in the house, for the sake of mutual help, for the sake of the care of infants, for the sake of peace and quietness. To this he is led from justice; and from judgment he carries it into effect. That a spiritual man cohabits thus with a natural is because even with the natural a spiritual man acts spiritually.
281. (10) That these conjugial simulations, with natural men, savor of prudence for various causes. Between two married partners of whom one is spiritual and the other natural (by spiritual is meant one who loves spiritual things and thus is wise from the Lord, and by natural is meant one who only loves natural things and so savors of self) when the two are consociated by marriage, conjugial love with the one that is spiritual is heat, and with the one that is natural is cold. It is plain that heat and cold cannot abide together; and that heat cannot enkindle him who is in coldness unless the coldness be first dispelled; nor can coldness flow into him who is in heat, unless the heat be first removed. Hence it is that there can be no inward love between married partners that are spiritual and natural; but that on the part of the spiritual married partner there can be love emulative of inward love, as was said in an article above.
 But there can be no inward love between two natural married partners, because both are cold. If they are warm, it is from the unchaste. They can, nevertheless, even with separate minds, dwell together in the house, and also assume looks as of love and friendship towards each other, however mutually discordant their minds. With them external affections, which for the most part are of wealth and possessions, or honors and dignities, may be as it were ardent; and because this ardency induces fear for the loss of them, conjugial simulations are to them necessities, which are chiefly those mentioned in sections 15-17 below. Other causes enumerated with these may have something in common with the causes that concern the spiritual man, of which above at n. 280, but only in case prudence with the natural man savors of intelligence.
282. (11) That they are for the sake of amendment and for accommodation. That the conjugial simulations which are appearances of love and friendship between married partners disagreeing in mind are for the sake of amendment is because a spiritual man joined to a natural by the matrimonial covenant has no other intention than amendment of life, which is promoted on his or her part by wise and refined conversation, and by favors soothing to the peculiar disposition of the other. And if these fall upon the ears and manners in vain, then he or she strives for accommodations, for the preservation of order in domestic affairs, for mutual aid, and for the sake of infants and children, and such things. For the words and deeds that proceed from a spiritual man savor of justice and judgment, as has been shown above (n. 280).
 But with married partners, of whom neither is spiritual but both are natural, the like may take place, but for other ends. If for the sake of amendment and accommodation, it is to the end that either may be brought into similarity of manners with him or herself, and be subordinated to his or her desires, or with a view to some services that they may be of advantage to his or her own, or for the sake of peace in the house, or of the good name out of the house, or for the sake of favors hoped for from the married partners, or from his or her relations, and for other ends. But with some they come from the prudence of their reason; with some from native civility; with some from the delights of desires familiar from birth, the loss of which is feared; besides many ends from which the favors received as if of conjugial love become more or less feigned. There are also attentions as if of conjugial love, shown out of the house and none within the house. But these look to the good name of each as an end, and if not to this they are just for show.
283. (12) That they are for the sake of preserving order in domestic affairs, and for mutual help. Every house where there are children with their instructors, and other domestics, is a society emulative of the large society. This in fact has its existence from such, as a whole from its parts; and just as the welfare of a great society depends upon order, so does the welfare of this small society depend upon order. Wherefore, just as it concerns the magistrates in a composite society to see and provide that order shall exist and be preserved, so does it concern married partners in their particular society. But this order cannot be if the husband and wife disagree in mind, for then mutual counsel and mutual aid are, like their minds, distraught and dissevered, and the form of the small society is thus rent asunder. Therefore, for the preservation of order, and thereby to provide at once for themselves and for their household, or for their household and at the same time for themselves, that they do not come to hurt and rush to destruction, necessity requires that the master and mistress of the house agree and make one; that if this cannot be, on account of mental difference, still, in order that it may be well it ought to be done, and it also is becoming that this should be done, by representative conjugial friendship. That thereby harmony is secured in houses, for the sake of necessities and thence of utilities, is known.
284. (13) That they are for the sake of the unanimous care of infants, and in respect to children. That there are conjugial simulations between married partners which are appearances of love and friendship, resembling those truly conjugial, for the sake of infants and children, is very well known. Their common love for these disposes each married partner to regard the other with kindness and with goodwill. The love of infants and children with the mother and father conjoins themselves— as the heart and the lungs in the breast; the love of them with the mother is as the heart there, and the love towards them with the father is as the lungs there. The reason for the comparison is that the heart corresponds to love, and the lungs to the understanding, and love from the will is with the mother, and love from the understanding is with the father. With spiritual men there is a conjugial conjunction through this love, from justice and judgment—from justice, because the mother carried them in the womb, with suffering brought them forth, and afterwards with unwearying care suckles, feeds, cleanses, clothes, and brings them up.
285. (14) That they are for the sake of peace in the house. Conjugial simulations or outward friendship for the sake of peace and tranquillity in the house are chiefly on the part of men, by reason of their natural characteristic, that what they do they do from the understanding, and the understanding (because understanding is thinking) is occupied with various things that disquiet, distract, and disturb the mind. Therefore if there were intranquillity at home, it would come to pass that their vital spirits would flag, and their interior life sink as it were into death, and thus their health, both of body and mind, be destroyed. The minds of men are beset with fears of these perils, and of many others, in case there were no asylum at home, with their wives, to calm the disturbance of the understanding.
 Moreover, peace and tranquillity make the minds serene, and dispose them gratefully to receive the kindnesses offered by their wives, who employ every means to dispel clouds, which they are keen to see, from the minds of their husbands; and these things also make their presence grateful. It is therefore plain that the simulation of a love truly conjugial is a necessity, and also of use, for the peace and tranquillity of the house. Add to this that with wives simulations are not as with men, and if they appear alike it is from real love, because they are born loves of the understanding of men, and therefore gratefully accept the favors of their husbands, if not with the mouth yet with the heart.
286. (15) That they are for the sake of reputation out of the house. The fortunes of men for the most part depend upon their reputation, that they are just, sincere, and upright; and this reputation also depends upon the wife, who knows his private life. If therefore the discordance of their minds should break forth into open enmity, quarrels, and threatenings of hatred, and these were noised abroad by the wife and her friends, and by the servants, they would easily be turned into revilings which would besmirch his name and be of bad repute. To avert such evils no other means are available but either to pay simulated court to the wife, or that they be separated as to the house.
287. (16) That they are for the sake of various favors, expected from the married partner or from his or her kindred, and thus for fear of the loss of them. This takes place, especially, in marriages of dissimilar station and condition, of which above at n. 250. As when a wealthy wife is taken, and she puts away her money in bags, or puts out her treasure on mortgage; and more yet, if she insists boldly that the husband is in duty bound to support the household out of his own property and income. That similitudes as if of conjugial love are thence resorted to by compulsion is commonly known. The like takes place when a wife is taken whose parents, kindred, and friends are high in office, in lucrative business, or in mercantile occupations, who are able to arrange for her a more prosperous condition, that for the sake of this also there are simulations as if of conjugial love is commonly known. That in both cases they are for the fear of the loss of them is obvious.
288. (17) That they are for the sake of having blemishes excused, and thus for avoidance of disrepute. The blemishes on account of which married partners fear disrepute are numerous, some serious, and some not serious. There are blemishes of the mind and blemishes of the body less grievous than those enumerated in a former chapter (n. 252, 253), which are causes of separation. The blemishes meant here, therefore, are those that are borne in silence by the other married partner, to avoid disgrace. Besides with some there are incidental offenses which would be subject to penalties of the law if divulged, not to speak of defect of the ability in which men are wont to glory. That excusings of such blemishes, for the avoidance of disgrace, are causes of simulation of love and friendship with a married partner is manifest without further confirmation.
289. (18) That they are for the sake of reconciliation. It is known in the world that between married partners who from various causes are of discordant minds there are alternate dissensions and confidences, alienations, and conjunctions, yea, quarrels and adjustments, and thus reconciliations; and that then apparent friendships are restored. There are also reconciliations which are effected after separations, which are not thus alternate and transitory.
290. (19) That if on the part of the wife goodwill towards the man does not cease when faculty ceases with him, there may spring up a friendship emulating conjugial friendship as they grow old. The chief of the causes of the separation of minds between married partners is decreasing goodwill on the part of the wife as faculty wanes with the man, and thence decrease of love. For in like manner as states of heat communicate with each other, so also do states of coldness. That from failure of love with both of them friendship fails, and, if domestic ruin is not feared, goodwill also, is evident from reason and from experience. If then the man tacitly imputes to himself the cause, and the wife abides still in chaste goodwill towards him, there may result thence a friendship which, as it is between married partners, appears like a love emulating conjugial love. That there may be friendship as of that love between aged married partners is attested by experience as to the tranquillity, security, amiability, and abundant comity of their close companionship, interaction, and consociation.
291. (20) That there are different kinds of apparent love and friendship between married partners, one of whom is subjugated, and is therefore subject to the other. It is among the things known in the world at the present day that, after the first period of married life has passed, emulations spring up between married partners in respect to right and authority—as respects right, in that according to the conditions of the covenant made there is equality, and each has dignity in the duties of his or her function; and as to authority, in that superiority is insisted on by men in all affairs of the house because they are men, and women are held to be inferior, because they are women. Such rivalries familiar at this day, arise from no other source than that there is no consciousness of love truly conjugial and no sensible perception of the beatitudes of that love, from the absence of which, instead of that love there is lust, which counterfeits that love. From this lust, genuine love being absent, there issues a striving for power, which in some is from the delight of the love of ruling, with some has been implanted by artful women before the wedding, and to some is unknown.
 Men, who are in this striving, and after the vicissitudes of emulation obtain the mastery, either reduce their wives to be their rightful possession or reduce them into obedience to their will, or into bondage, each man according the degree and the peculiar state of the striving inherent and latent in himself. But if wives are in this ambition, and after the turns of emulation obtain the mastery, they either bring their husbands into equality of right with themselves, or into obedience to their will, or into bondage. But as there remains with wives, after the fasces of authority have been won by them, the lust which counterfeits conjugial love—being restrained by law, and by the fear of legitimate separation in case they extend their authority beyond what is allowable, to what is not allowable—they lead therefore a consociate life with their husbands.
 But what kind of love and friendship there is between a dominating wife and a servile husband, or between a dominating husband and a subservient wife cannot be described in a few words. Yea, if their differences were brought together in species, and these recounted, pages would not suffice. For they are various and diverse, according to the nature of the ambition with men, similarly various with the wives, and those of men are diverse from those that are with women. For such men are in no friendship of love but what is fatuous, and such wives are in the friendship of spurious love from lust. But it shall be told now in the following section by what art wives acquire power over men.
292. (21) That there are infernal marriages in the world, between married partners who inwardly are the bitterest enemies and outwardly like most intimate friends. I am indeed forbidden by wives of such sort who are in the spiritual world to set these marriages in public light, for they fear lest at the same time their art of gaining power over men should be divulged, which yet they are exceedingly anxious should be concealed. But as by men in that world I am urged to disclose the causes of their intestine hatred, and of the fury as it were excited in their hearts against their wives on account of their clandestine arts, I will merely relate the following: Men have told me that, unconsciously, they contracted a terrible fear of their wives, on account of which they could not but be most slavishly obedient to their will, more obsequious to their nod than the vilest slaves, so that they became as if spiritless. And that not only did men not placed in dignity become so before their wives, but also men of exalted station, yea, valiant and renowned generals. And they said that after this terror was contracted they could not hazard to speak to their wives except in a friendly way, nor to do otherwise than according to their good pleasure, although in their hearts they cherished deadly hatred against them; and yet that their wives talked and acted courteously with them, and listened compliantly to some of their requests.
 Now, as the men themselves greatly wondered whence there sprang up such antipathy in their internals and such apparent sympathy in externals, they have searched into the causes, from women to whom the secret art was known, and they said that they received it out of the mouths of these, that women conceal deeply with themselves the knowledge by which they understand how to subject men, if they will, to the yoke of their authority. And that with unmannerly wives it is done by alternate scolding and favoring, with others of them by hard and unpleasant looks continually, and by other means with others. But by wives of refined manners it is done by obstinate pressing of their requests, never by turns intermitted, and by pertinacious opposition to their husbands if they suffer hard things from them, insisting upon their right of equality by law, from which they boldly render themselves stubborn, yea, that if cast out of the house they will return at their pleasure, and persist in the like demands. For they know that men from their nature can by no means withstand the obstinate persistency of their wives, and that after surrender to their will they submit themselves, and then the wives show themselves civil and bland to the husbands under their authority.
The real cause of the domination of wives through this craft is that man acts from the understanding and woman from the will, and the will can be persistent but the understanding cannot. It was told me that the worst of this kind, who are inwardly corroded with the ambition to rule, can hold tenaciously to their obstinate determination even to a struggle for life.
 I have also heard the excuses offered by those women, why they entered into the practice of this art. They said they would not have entered into it if they had not foreseen supreme contempt and future rejection, and hence their ruin, if they were subjugated by their husbands; and so of necessity they took up these their arms. To this they added this warning to men, that they should leave to wives their rights, and that when alternately they are in coldness they should not count them viler than slaves. They also said that many of their sex are not in condition to employ this art, from innate timidity. But I added, “From innate modesty.” From these experiences it is now made known what is meant by infernal marriages in the world, between married partners who inwardly are the bitterest enemies and outwardly like the most intimate friends.
293. To this shall be adjoined two relations. The first is this:
I was once looking through a window toward the east and saw seven women sitting on a bank of roses by a certain fountain, drinking water. I looked intently to see what they were doing, and the intentness of my gaze affected them. Whereupon one of them by nod invited me, and I left the house and speedily went to them. When I arrived I asked politely from whence they came.
They said, “We are wives, and are having a conversation here about the delights of conjugial love; and from much confirmation we conclude that those delights are also the delights of wisdom.”
This answer so delighted my mind that I seemed to myself to be in the spirit, and thence to be in more interior and clearer perception than at any time before. Whereupon I said to them, “Permit an interchange of questions on these pleasantnesses.”
They nodded assent and I asked, “How do you wives know that the delights of conjugial love are the same with the delights of wisdom?”
 They replied, “We know it from the correspondence of the wisdom with our husbands to the delights of conjugial love in us. For the delights of this love with us are exalted and diminished, and are altogether qualified according to the wisdom with our husbands.”
On hearing this I asked them, saying, “I know that the caressing words of your husbands and the exhilaration of their minds affects you, and that your whole bosom delights therein, but I am surprised that you say their wisdom effects it. But tell me what is wisdom? And what wisdom does this?”
 To this the wives, indignant, responded, “You think we do not know what wisdom is, and what wisdom it is, and yet we are reflecting upon it as it is with our husbands continually, and learn it daily from their mouth. For we wives think about the state of our husbands from morning to evening. Scarce a little hour in the day intervenes in which our intuitive thought is entirely withdrawn or absent from them. On the other hand our husbands think very little during the day about our state. Hence it is that we know what wisdom of theirs is delighted in us. Our husbands call this wisdom spiritual-rational and spiritual-moral wisdom. Spiritual-rational wisdom they say is of the understanding and of cognitions, and spiritual-moral wisdom they say is of the will and the life. And these two they conjoin and make one; and they conclude that the amenities of this wisdom are transcribed from their minds into delights in our bosoms, and from ours into their bosoms, and so return to wisdom their origin.”
 I then asked them, “Do you know anything more about the wisdom of your husbands causing delight in you?”
They said, “We do. There is spiritual wisdom, and from this rational, and moral wisdom. Spiritual wisdom is to acknowledge the Lord the savior as God of heaven and earth, and to acquire from him the truths of the church—which is done through the Word and preachings therefrom—whence results spiritual rationality, and from him to live according to them, whence results spiritual morality. Our husbands call these two the wisdom that in general brings about love truly conjugial. We have also heard from them the reason: That by this wisdom the interiors of their mind and thence of their body are opened, whereby there is free transit for the vein of love, from things first down to the last, upon the afflux, the sufficiency, and the strength of which conjugial love depends and lives. The wisdom of our husbands, spiritual-rational and moral, in particular as to marriage, has for its end and scope to love the wife only and the putting off of every lust for others. And insofar as this end is attained that love is exalted in degree and perfected in quality; and insofar also do we the more distinctly and exquisitely feel within us delights correspondent to the joys of the affections and the pleasantnesses of the thoughts of our husbands.”
 I asked afterwards whether they know how the communication is effected.
They said, “In all conjunction by love there must be action, reception, and reaction. The delightful state of our love is acting, or action. The state of wisdom of husbands is receiving, or reception, and is also reacting or reaction according to perception; and this reaction is perceived by us with delights in the bosom, according as the state is expanded continually, and is prepared for receiving the things which in some wise are coherent with and hence go forth together with the virtue with husbands, and thus also with the extreme state of love with us.” They said further: “Be careful that by the delights we have mentioned you do not understand the ultimate delights of that love. Of these we never speak, but of our bosom delights, the perpetual correspondence of which is with the state of the wisdom of our husbands.”
 After this there appeared from afar off as it were a dove with a leaf of a tree in its mouth; but as it came near, in place of a dove was seen a little boy with a paper in his hand. And coming up to us he held it out to me, and said, “Read this to the virgins of the fountain.”
And I read these words, “Tell the inhabitants of the earth with whom you are that there is a love truly conjugial, the delights of which are myriads, scarcely any of which the world as yet knows, but it will know them when the church betroths herself to her Lord and marries.”
And then I asked, “Why did the boy call you ‘virgins of the fountain?’”
They replied, “We are called virgins when we are sitting at this fountain because we are affections of the truths of our husbands’ wisdom, and the affection of truth is called a virgin. A fountain also signifies the truth of wisdom, and the bank of roses whereon we are sitting signifies its delights.”
 Then one of those seven twined a wreath of roses and sprinkled it with water of the fountain, and placed it on the boy’s cap around his little head, and said, “Receive the delights of intelligence. Know that the cap signifies intelligence, and a wreath from this rose bed, the delights of it.” And decorated with these the boy went away, and at a distance appeared again as a dove, flying, but with a chaplet upon its head.
294. The second relation:
After some days I again saw the seven wives in a rose garden, but not in the same that they were in before. It was a magnificent rose garden, no semblance of which had I ever before seen. It was round, and the roses there formed as it were a rainbow arch, its outermost circle, roses or flowers of a crimson19 hue, next within, others of a golden yellow, and within these others of a deep blue, and the innermost were of a leek-green or bright green; and within this rainbow rose garden was a small lake of limpid water. Those seven wives sitting there, before called the virgins of the fountain, seeing me at the window again invited me to them. And when I came they said, “Did you ever see anything more beautiful on earth?”
I said, “Never!”
And they said, “Such a thing is created by the Lord in a moment and it represents something new on the earth, for everything created by the Lord is representative. But divine, if you can, what it is. We divine that it is the delights of conjugial love.”
 Hearing this I said, “What! The delights of conjugial love about which, from wisdom and also with eloquence, you told so many things before? After I left you I told of your conversation to wives dwelling in our region, and said that now, being instructed, I know that you have bosom delights arising from your conjugial love which you can impart to your husbands according to their wisdom; and that therefore, with the eyes of your spirit you are regarding your husbands continually, from morning to evening, and study to incline and lead their minds to becoming wise, to the end that you may secure those delights. I related also what you mean by wisdom, that it is spiritual-rational and moral wisdom, and as to marriage, the wisdom of loving the wife alone and putting off all lust for others.
“But to these things the wives of our region responded with laughter, saying, ‘What is that? These words are trifles! We do not know what conjugial love is. If our husbands have any, still we have none. Whence its delights then with us? And as to the delights which you call ultimate, sometimes we violently refuse them, for they are disagreeable to us, scarcely otherwise than violations. Yea, if you observe us you will see no sign of such love in our faces. You trifle then, or jest, if you also say with those seven wives that from morning to evening we are thinking about our husbands, and continually attentive to their good pleasure and caprice, in order that we may obtain from them such delights.’ These of their words I have retained, that I might repeat them to you, as they are opposed, indeed are plainly contrary to your discourse, which I heard from you at the fountain, and received with so much avidity, and also believed.”
 To this the wives sitting in the rose garden replied, “Friend, you do not know the wisdom and prudence of wives, because they entirely conceal it from men, and they conceal it to no other end than that they may be loved. For every man who is not spiritually but only naturally rational and moral is cold towards his wife. It is latent with them in their inmosts. This the wise and prudent wife exquisitely and keenly observes, and conceals in so much her conjugial love, and draws it into her bosom, and hides it there so deeply that not the least of it appears in her face, or voice, or gesture. The reason is, that in the degree that the love appears, the conjugial coldness of the man pours itself forth, from the inmosts of his mind where it resides, into its ultimates, and induces a total frigidity of the body, and a consequent effort towards separation from bed and chamber.”
 Then I asked, “Whence comes such coldness which you call conjugial coldness?”
They answered, “It is from their insanity in spiritual things; and every man who is insane in spiritual things is inmostly cold to his wife, and inmostly warm towards harlots. And as conjugial love and promiscuous love are opposite to each other, it follows that conjugial love becomes cold when promiscuous love is warm; and when coldness rules within him a man cannot bear from his wife any sensation of love, and thus no breathing of it. For this reason does the wife so wisely and prudently conceal it, and insofar as she conceals it, by denying and refusing, insofar the man is revived and restored by the inflowing wanton sphere. Hence it is that the wife of such a man has no bosom delights, such as we have, but only the pleasures, which on the part of the man are to be called pleasures of insanity, because they are the pleasures of promiscuous love.
 “Every chaste wife loves her husband, even the unchaste; but because only wisdom is recipient of that love, therefore the wife uses every effort to turn his insanity into wisdom, that is, that he may not lust after others besides herself, which she does in a thousand ways, taking the greatest care that none of them shall be discovered by the man; for she knows well that love cannot be constrained but is instilled in freedom. Therefore it is given to women to know every state of mind of their husbands from sight, from hearing, and from touch; but it is not given to husbands, on the other hand, to know any state of mind of their wives.
 “A chaste wife can look at her husband with austere countenance, speak to him in a harsh voice, and even be angry and quarrel, and yet in heart cherish a gentle and tender love for him. But that these outbursts of anger, and these dissimulations, have wisdom for an end, and thence the reception of love with the husband, is plain from the fact that in a moment she can be reconciled. Moreover, wives have such means of concealing the love inherent in their heart and marrow, to the end that conjugial coldness may not break forth with the man, and extinguish the fire of his promiscuous heat also, and thus from green wood make him a dry stick.”
 After the seven wives had said these and many more things of the kind, their husbands came with clusters of grapes in their hands, some of which were of delicious flavor, and some of offensive taste; and the wives said, “Why have you also brought bad or wild grapes?”
The husbands replied, “Because we perceived in our souls, with which yours are united, that you were speaking with that man about love truly conjugial, that its delights are delights of wisdom; and also about promiscuous love, that its delights are the pleasures of insanity. The latter are the grapes of offensive taste, or wild grapes, but the former are the grapes of delicious flavor.” And they confirmed what their wives had said, adding, “The pleasures of insanity appear like the delights of wisdom in externals, but not in internals, altogether like the good and the bad grapes that we have brought. For the chaste and the unchaste have like wisdom in externals but altogether unlike in internals.”
 After this the little boy came again with a paper in his hand, and held it out to me, saying, “Read.” And I read this: “Know ye, that the delights of conjugial love ascend to the highest heaven, and conjoin themselves on the way, and there, with the delights of all heavenly loves, and thus they enter into their felicity which endures to eternity. The reason is that the delights of that love are also the delights of wisdom. And know also that the pleasures of promiscuous love descend even to the lowest hell, and conjoin themselves on the way, and there, with the pleasures of all infernal loves, and thus enter into their infelicity, which consists in the deprivation of all the joys of heart. The reason is that the pleasures of that love are also the pleasures of insanity.”
After this the husbands departed with their wives, and accompanied the little boy even to the way of his ascent into heaven. And they knew the society from which he was sent, that it was a society of the new heaven with which the new church on the earth will be conjoined.
Concerning Betrothals and Weddings
295. Betrothals and weddings, and the accompanying celebrations, are treated of here chiefly from the rational understanding. For the things written in this book have for their end that the reader may see its truths from his own reason and thus assent. For in this way his spirit is convinced, and the matters whereof the spirit is convinced take a place in the mind above those that enter from authority, and on the faith of authority, the reason not being consulted; for these enter no farther into the head than into the memory, and there are mixed with fallacies and falsities; thus they are below things rational which are of the understanding. Any man can talk from these things of the memory as if rationally, but preposterously, for then he thinks as a crab walks, the sight following the tail. Not so if he speaks from understanding. When he does this the rational sight selects from the memory things suitable, wherewith it confirms the truth in itself.
It is for this reason that in this chapter many things are adduced which are accepted customs; such as, that selection belongs to men; that parents are to be consulted; that pledges are to be given; that a conjugial covenant is to be entered into before the marriage; that this is to be consecrated by a priest; so also that there is to be a wedding celebration; and many other things, which are adduced to the end that man may from his own reason see that such things are inscribed on conjugial love as are requisite to promote and complete it. The heads under which the subject is distinguished, in their order, are the following:
(1) That selection belongs to the man and not to the woman.
(2) That the man ought to court and solicit the woman respecting marriage with him, and not the reverse.
(3) That the woman ought to consult her parents, or those who are in the place of parents, and then deliberate with herself before she consents.
(4) That after declaration of consent pledges ought to be given.
(5) That the consent ought to be established and confirmed by a solemn betrothal.
(6) That by the betrothal each is prepared for conjugial love.
(7) That by betrothal the mind of the one is conjoined to the mind of the other, in order that the marriage of the spirit may be effected before that of the body takes place.
(8) That it is so with those who think chastely concerning marriages, but otherwise with those who think unchastely about them.
(9) That during the time of betrothal it is not permissible to be bodily conjoined.
(10) That when the time of betrothal is completed the wedding ought to take place.
(11) That before the celebration of the wedding, a conjugial covenant ought to be entered into in the presence of witnesses.
(12) That the marriage ought to be consecrated by a priest.
(13) That the wedding ought to be celebrated with festivity.
(14) That after the wedding the marriage of the spirit becomes also of the body, and thus full.
(15) That such is the order of conjugial love, with its modes, from its first heat to its first torch.
(16) That conjugial love precipitated, without order and its modes, burns out the marrows and comes to an end.
(17) That the states of mind of each, proceeding in successive order, flow into the state of marriage, and yet in one manner with the spiritual and in another with the natural.
(18) Because there is a successive order and a simultaneous order, and the latter is from the former and according to it.
Now follows the exposition of these.
296. (1) That selection belongs to the man, and not to the woman. This is because the man is born that he may be understanding, but the woman that she may be love; and because, commonly, love of the sex is with men, but with women love of one of the sex; also for the reason that it is not unbecoming for men to speak of love, and to make it known, while for women it is unbecoming. Still, women have the freedom of choice of one of their suitors.
As regards the first reason, that selection belongs to the men because they are born for understanding: It is on the ground that the understanding can see clearly what is suitable and what unsuitable, and discriminate between them, and from judgment select the suitable. It is otherwise with women; because they are born for love they have not the clear discernment of that light, and hence would have no determination towards marriage except from the inclinations of their love. If they have the knowledge for distinguishing men from men, yet their love is carried to the appearances.
 As to the second reason why selection is with men and not with women, that, commonly, the love of the sex is with men, and with women the love of one of the sex: With those who have the love of the sex there is free circumspection and also determination. It is otherwise with women, who have inherent the love for one of the sex. To confirm this, if you like, ask of the men you meet concerning monogamic and polygamic marriage, and you will rarely come upon one who will not respond in favor of polygamic, and this is also the love of the sex; but ask women respecting these marriages, and nearly all, except prostitutes, will reject polygamic marriages, from which it is clear that with women there is the love of one of the sex, thus conjugial love.
 As respects the third reason, that for men it is not unbecoming to speak of love and to make it known, and that with women it is unbecoming: This is self-evident, and it also follows from this that declaration too belongs to the men, and if declaration, selection also.
That women have the freedom of choice from among their suitors is known, but this kind of choice is restricted and limited, while that of the men is unrestricted and unlimited.
297. (2) That the man ought to court and solicit the woman respecting marriage with him, and not the reverse. This is consequent upon the election being with him. Besides, to court and solicit women with reference to marriage is in itself honorable and decorous for men; but not for women. If women were to court and solicit they would not merely be reproached, but also after their solicitations, would be reputed vile, or after marriage as wantons with whom there is no fellowship except cold and disdainful. Wherefore marriages would thus be turned into tragic scenes. Wives even turn it to their praise that they gave themselves up as conquered, at the earnest solicitations of the men. Who does not foresee that if women courted men they would rarely be accepted? Either they would be indignantly spurned, or enticed to wantonness, and would also prostitute their modesty.
Besides, with men there is no innate love of the sex, as has been shown above,20 and without that love there is no interior charm of life; for which reason, to exalt their life by that love it devolves upon men to be complaisant to women, courteously, kindly, and deferentially wooing and soliciting them for this sweet addition by them to their life. The beauty of face, of body, and of manners, of that sex, beyond that of the male, also adds itself like the obligation of a vow.
298. (3) That the woman ought to consult her parents, or those who are in the place of parents, and then deliberate with herself before she consents. The parents should be consulted because they deliberate and counsel from judgment, knowledge, and love: From judgment, because they are advanced in age, and age improves the judgment, and it sees clearly things suitable and things unsuitable: From knowledge, of the suitor as well as of their daughter; respecting the suitor they procure information, and respecting their daughter they know; they therefore conclude, at once with joint discernment, respecting both: from love, because to consult the good of their daughter, and to be careful for her home, is also to do the same for their own good and for themselves.
299. It would be quite another case if the daughter were of herself to consent to her client suitor, without consultation with her parents, or with those who are in the place of parents; for she could not from judgment, knowledge, and love weigh in the balance this matter on which her future welfare depends: Not from judgment, because this in her is yet in ignorance in respect to conjugial life, and is not in a state to compare reasons with each other, nor to see clearly into the morals of men from their mode of living; not from knowledge or information, because she is acquainted with but few things beyond the domestic concerns of her parents, and of some companions, and is unfitted to search into such matters as are private and personal to her wooer; and not from love, because the love of daughters in this first marriageable age, and also in the next, waits upon desires from the senses, and not as yet upon longings from a chastened mind.
 The reason why a daughter ought nevertheless to deliberate with herself upon the matter before she consents is lest she be influenced to unite with a man whom she does not love, for in that case she does not on her part add consent, and yet this constitutes marriage and initiates her spirit into that love, while unwilling or extorted consent does not initiate the spirit, but may the body, and thus convert chastity, which resides in the spirit, into lust, whereby conjugial love is corrupted in its first heat.
300. (4) That after declaration of consent pledges ought to be given. By pledges are meant gifts, which are confirmations, testimonials, first favors, and gladnesses after the consent. These gifts are confirmations because they are the tokens of consent; wherefore, when two covenant to anything it is said, “Give me a token,” and of two who are espoused in marriage and have confirmed their promises by gifts, it is said that they are plighted, that is, confirmed.
 They are testimonials, because these pledges are like abiding visible witnesses of mutual love, and thence are also memorials of it; especially, if they are rings, scent bottles, and lockets, which are suspended in sight, there is in them a certain representative image of the minds of the bridegroom and bride. These pledges are first favors, because conjugial love promises to itself everlasting favor, of which the first fruits are those gifts. That they are the gladnesses of love is known, for the mind is exhilarated at the sight of them, and because the love is in them these favors are dearer and more precious than any other gifts whatever. It is as if their hearts were in them. Because these pledges are supports of conjugial love, gifts after consent were also an established custom among the ancients, and after acceptance of them the two were declared to be bridegroom and bride. But it should be known, that it is of their free choice whether to present the gifts before the act of betrothal or after it. If before, they are confirmations and testimonials of consent to the betrothment; if after it to the wedding also.
301. (5) That the consent ought to be established and confirmed by a solemn betrothal. The reasons for betrothal are these: (a) So that after this the two souls may mutually incline to each other. (b) So that the universal love for the sex may be determined in each to one of the sex. (c) So that the interior affections may be mutually cognized, and by applications in the inward cheerfulness of love may be conjoined. (d) That the spirits of the two may enter into marriage, and be consociated more and more. (e) That conjugial love may thus rightly progress from its first heat even to its wedding flame. (f) That conjugial love may consequently proceed and grow up in just order from its spiritual origin. The state of betrothal may be likened to the state of spring before the summer, and its inward pleasantness to the blossoming of trees before fructification. Since the initiations and progressions of conjugial love proceed in order, for the sake of their inflowing into the effective love which begins from the wedding, therefore there are betrothals also in the heavens.
302. (6) That by the betrothal each is prepared for conjugial love. It is evident from the considerations presented in the preceding section that the mind or spirit of the one is prepared by betrothal for union with the mind or spirit of the other, or what is the same, the love of the one with the love of the other. Besides this, it ought to be mentioned that upon love truly conjugial this order is inscribed: That it ascends and descends; it ascends progressively upwards from its first heat towards the souls, with an effort to conjunction there, and this by openings of the minds, continually more interior; and there is no love that more intensely labors for these openings, or which more powerfully and easily opens the interiors of minds than conjugial love, for the soul of each intends it. But at the same moments when that love is ascending towards the soul it is descending also towards the body, and is thereby clothing itself.
 But it should be known that conjugial love is of such quality in its descent as it is in the altitude to which it ascends; if it is in the height it descends chaste, and if not in the height, it descends unchaste. The reason is that the lower parts of the mind are unchaste, but its higher parts chaste; for the lower parts of the mind cleave to the body, but its higher separate themselves from them. But more may be seen on these subjects below at n. 305. From these few considerations it may be seen how that, by betrothal, the mind of each is prepared for conjugial love, though each in a different way according to the affections.
303. (7) That by betrothal the mind of the one is conjoined to the mind of the other, in order that a marriage of the spirit may be effected before that of the body takes place. As this is a conclusion from what has been said above at n. 301-302, it is passed by without adducing further confirmations from reason.
304. (8) That it is so with those who think chastely concerning marriages, but otherwise with those who think unchastely about them.
With the chaste, who are those that think from religion about marriages, the marriage of the spirit precedes and that of the body follows; and these are they with whom the love ascends towards the soul, and descends from its height there, of which see above at n. 302. The souls of these separate themselves from the unlimited love of the sex and devote themselves to the one, with whom they look to an everlasting and eternal union, and its increasing beatitudes as nourishers of the hope that is continually invigorating their minds.
 But it is altogether otherwise with the unchaste, who are those that do not think of marriages and of their holiness from religion. With them there is a marriage of the body and none of the spirit. If anything of a marriage of the spirit appears during the state of betrothal, still this, if it ascends by the elevation of the thoughts respecting it, nevertheless falls back to the lusts which are of the flesh in the will, and so, out of the unchaste things there, plunges itself down headlong into the body, and pollutes the ultimates of its love with alluring ardor, with the result that as it burned in the beginning; so, suddenly it goes out and passes away into winter cold, whereby defection is hastened. The state of betrothal in their case does scarcely more than incite them to fill their lusts with things impure and to contaminate the conjugial relationship of love therewith.
305. (9) That during the time of betrothal it is not permissible to be bodily conjoined. For thus the order which is inscribed upon conjugial love perishes. For in human minds there are three regions, the highest of which is called celestial, the middle region spiritual, and the lowest natural. Into this lowest man is born; but into its higher, which is called spiritual, he ascends by a life according to the truths of religion and into the highest by the marriage of love and wisdom. In the lowest region, called natural, reside all the lusts of evil and lasciviousness; but in the higher regions, called spiritual, there are no lusts of evil and lasciviousness, for into this man is led by the Lord when he is born again; and in the highest region, called celestial, is conjugial chastity in its love; into this man is raised by the love of uses, and, as the most excellent uses are from marriages, by love truly conjugial.
 From these truths it may be seen in brief that conjugial love, from the first beginnings of its heat, ought to be raised out of the lowest region into the higher region, that it may become chaste, and that thus out of the chaste it may be let down, through the middle region, and the lowest, into the body. When this is done, this lowest region is purified of its unchastities by the descending chaste, and so the ultimate of that love also becomes chaste. Now, if the successive order of this love is precipitated by conjunctions of the body before their time, it follows that man [homo] acts from the lowest region which by nativity is unchaste. That thence begins and rises coldness towards marriage, and neglect with disdain towards the married partner is known. But yet there are various differences of results from too early conjunctions, as also from excessive protraction, and likewise from excessive hastening of the time of betrothal. But these, on account of their number and varieties, cannot easily be adduced.
306. (10) That when the time of betrothal is completed the wedding ought to take place. There are solemn ceremonies which are only formal, and there are solemnities which are at the same time also essential. Among these are weddings. That they are among the essential things which ought to be solemnly published, and formally celebrated, the following reasons confirm: (a) That the wedding make an end of the state before inaugurated by the betrothal, which was chiefly a state of the spirit, and the beginning of the following state to be inaugurated by marriage, which is at the same time of the spirit and of the body; for then the spirit enters into the body and acts there; wherefore on that day they put off the state, and also the name of bridegroom and bride, and put on the state and name of married partners and consorts of the bed. (b) That the wedding is an introduction and entrance into a new state, which is that the maiden becomes a wife and the youth a husband, and the two one flesh; which is brought into effect when love unites them by ultimates. That marriage does actually change the maiden into a wife, and the youth into a husband has been shown in former pages; as also that marriage unites the two into one human form, so that they are no more twain but one flesh. (c) That the wedding is the entering into complete separation of the love of the sex from conjugial love, which comes into effect when through full opportunity for conjunction there takes place the close devotion of the love of the one to the love of the other. (d) It appears as if the wedding only marks the interval between those two states, and thus that they are mere formalities which might be omitted; but there is nevertheless this essential also in them, that the new state, before mentioned, is then to be entered into according to the covenant, and that the consent is to be declared in the presence of witnesses, and to be consecrated also by a priest, besides other things which establish it. Because weddings are essential, and because not until after them does lawful marriage take place, therefore weddings are celebrated in the heavens also. See above at n. 21, and after at n. 27-41.
307. (11) That before the celebration of the wedding, a conjugial covenant ought to be entered into in the presence of witnesses. It is proper that a conjugial covenant be entered into before the wedding is celebrated, in order that the statutes and laws of love truly conjugial may be known, and may be kept in mind after the wedding; also that it may be a bond, holding their minds together to rightful marriage. For after some beginnings of married life, at times the state before betrothal returns, in which remembrance vanishes, and there steals in a forgetfulness of the covenant entered into; yea, from enticements by things unchaste to things unchaste, there comes about an effacement of it, and if then it is recalled to mind, it is reviled. But, to avert these transgressions, society has taken upon itself the guardianship of this covenant, and has enacted penalties against those who break it. In a word, the premarital covenant makes public the sacred obligations of love truly conjugial, establishes them, and binds libertines to obedience to them. Add to this, that by this covenant, the right to propagate children, and the right of children to inherit the goods of their parents, is made legal.
308. (12) That marriage ought to be consecrated by a priest. The reason of this is that, viewed in themselves, marriages are spiritual, and therefore holy. For they descend from the heavenly marriage of good and truth; and things conjugial correspond to the Divine marriage of the Lord and the church, and hence are from the Lord himself, and are according to the state of the church with those who enter into the contract. Now, because the ecclesiastical order administer on earth the things which are of the priesthood with the Lord, that is, which are of his love, and thus those that pertain to blessing, it is fitting that marriages should be consecrated by his ministers; and because at the same time they are also the chief of the witnesses, it is proper that the consent to the covenant too should be heard, accepted, confirmed, and thus established by them.
309. (13) That the wedding ought to be celebrated with festivity. The reasons are that the premarital love, which was that of bridegroom and bride, then descends into their hearts, and by its diffusion thence universally into the body the delights of marriage are felt; whence their minds have festive thoughts and so far as they may and as it is becoming, let themselves out in festivities; to favor which it is proper that the festivities of their minds should go forth in communion with others, and they themselves be thus introduced into the joys of conjugial love.
310. (14) That after the wedding the marriage of the spirit becomes also of the body and thus full. All things that are done by man in the body flow in from his spirit. For it is known that the mouth does not speak of itself but the thought of the mind by the mouth; and that the hands do not act, nor the feet walk, of themselves, but the will of the mind by them; consequently, that the mind speaks by its organ, and the mind acts by its organs in the body. It is therefore evident that, as the mind is, such are the words of the mouth, and such the deeds of the body. From this it follows, as a conclusion, that the mind by continual influx disposes the body to activities in conformity and synchronous with itself. The bodies of men therefore, inwardly regarded, are nothing else than forms of their minds, organized outwardly to effect the behests of the soul.
These things are premised that it may be perceived why it is that the minds or spirits should first be united with each other, as in marriage, before they are united also as far as the body, namely, in order that when marriages become of the body they may be of the spirit, so that, consequently, the married partners shall mutually love each other from the spirit and thence in the body.
 Let us now look at marriage from this point of view: When conjugial love conjoins the minds of two and forms them into marriage, it then also conjoins and forms their bodies for it; for, as was said, the form of the mind is also interiorly the form of the body, with the only difference that this is outwardly organized for effecting that to which the interior form of the body is determined by the mind. But the mind, formed from conjugial love, not only is inwardly in all the body, round about, everywhere, but especially is inwardly within the organs devoted to generation, which are situated in their own region below the other parts of the body. In these the forms of the mind are terminated with those who are united in conjugial love, consequently the affections and thoughts of their minds are determined thither. In this the activities of their minds from other loves differ; they do not reach thither. The conclusion formed from this is, that, as conjugial love is, in the minds or spirits of two, such is it inwardly in these their organs. But that after the wedding the marriage of the spirit becomes also of the body, and thus full, is self-evident; consequently that if the marriage in the spirit is chaste, and partakes of its holiness, it is similar when in its fullness in the body; and the contrary if the marriage in the spirit is unchaste.
311. (15) That this is the order of conjugial love, with its modes, from its first heat to its first torch. It is said, from its first heat to its first torch, because vital heat is love, and conjugial heat or love successively increases and at length is as it were in flame, or a torch; it is said, its first torch, because the first state after the wedding is meant, when that love is ardent. But what it becomes after this torch, in the marriage itself, has been described in preceding chapters; but in this part of the treatise its order is explained, from the starting point to this its first goal.
 That all order proceeds from firsts to lasts, and that the lasts become the firsts of any succeeding order; and that all things of intermediate order are the last of a prior and the first of a posterior; and that in this wise ends go forth continually through causes into effects, might be sufficiently confirmed and illustrated to reason from things known and seen in the world; but, as here only the order is treated of in which love goes forth from its first starting point to its goal, these things are passed by, and on this subject only this is said: That as is the order of this love from its first heat to its first torch, such is it, and such it is continued, for the most part, in its progress afterwards. For in this progress it unfolds itself of such quality as its first heat was in itself, which, if chaste, its chasteness is strengthened in its progressions, but if unchaste, its unchasteness increases in progressing, even until it is deprived of all the chasteness in which it was outwardly and not inwardly from the time of betrothal.
312. (16) That conjugial love precipitated, without order and its modes, burns out the marrows and comes to an end. So it is said by some in heaven; and by the marrows they mean the interiors of the mind and of the body. The reason why these are burned out, that is, come to an end, by precipitate conjugial love is that the love in such case begins with a flame, which eats up and consumes those inmost sanctuaries wherein as in its beginnings, conjugial love should dwell, and from which it should begin. This comes to pass if the man and the woman precipitate marriage, without order, not looking to the Lord, nor consulting reason, throwing aside betrothal, and yielding only to the flesh, from the burning heat of which if that love begins, it becomes external and not internal, and thus not conjugial love; and it may be said to be of the shell and not the kernel, or of the flesh, lean and dry, because exhausted of its genuine essence. More on this subject may be seen in n. 305.
313. (17) That the states of mind of each, proceeding in successive order, flow into the state of marriage; and yet in one manner with the spiritual and in another with the natural. That the ultimate state is such as is the successive order from which it is formed and exists, is a canon which in the learned world should be acknowledged, because of its truth; for thus it is discovered what influx is, and what its effects. By influx is meant all that precedes and composes what follows, and through the things following in order, the ultimate; as all that precedes with man and constitutes his wisdom; or all that precedes with a politician and constitutes his prudence; or all that precedes with a theologian and constitutes his learning; in like manner all that proceeds from infancy and makes the man; so also what proceeds from the seed and the shrub and makes the tree, and afterwards from the blossom and makes the fruit. Just so all that precedes and proceeds with a bridegroom and bride and makes their marriage. This is meant by influx.
 That all things which precede in minds form series, and that the series bind themselves together, one beside the other and one after another, and that these together compose the ultimate, this has hitherto been unknown in the world; but it is here adduced because it is a truth from heaven. For by this it is discovered what the influx effects, and what is the quality of the ultimate, wherein the series just spoken of successively formed coexist.
From this it may be seen that the states of mind of each, proceeding in successive order, flow into the state of marriage. But married partners after marriage are entirely ignorant about the successive things which are in their minds, instilled from things antecedent; and yet these are what give form to conjugial love, and make the state of their minds from which they act the one with the other.
 A different state, from a different order, is formed with the spiritual from that with the natural, because the spiritual proceed in right order, and the natural in a wrong order; for the spiritual look to the Lord, and the Lord provides and leads the order; but the natural look to themselves and thence proceed in inverted order. The state of their marriage is for that reason inwardly full of unchastities; and as many as are the unchastities, so many are the states of coldness; and as many as are these, so many are the obstructions to inmost life by which its vein is clogged and its fountain dried up.
314. (18) Because there is successive order and simultaneous order, and the latter is from the former and according to it. This is adduced as a cause confirmative of the preceding. That there is what is successive, and that there is what is simultaneous, is known; but that simultaneous order is from the successive and according to it is not known. And yet how things successive insert themselves into the simultaneous, and the kind of order they form there, is extremely difficult to present to the perception, since there is not yet with the learned any idea that will serve for the elucidation of it; and as a first notion of this arcanum cannot be given in few words, and to present it here at length would draw minds away from a clearer view of conjugial love, it may serve sufficiently for illustration to quote what is briefly said respecting these two orders, the successive and the simultaneous, and of the influx of the former into the latter, in Doctrine of the Sacred Scripture, where are these words:
 “There is, in heaven and in the world, successive order and simultaneous order. In successive order one thing follows after another, from the highest even to the lowest; in simultaneous order, however, one thing is beside the other, from the inmost to the outermost. Successive order is as a column with steps from the highest to the lowest; simultaneous order is as a work cohering from the center to the circumference. Successive order becomes simultaneous in the ultimate, in this manner: The highest things of successive order become the inmost of simultaneous order; and the lowest things of successive order become the outermost of simultaneous order. It is comparatively as if a column of steps by subsiding becomes a cohering body in a plane. Thus what is simultaneous is formed from things successive, and this is so in all things and in everything of the spiritual world, and in all and everything of the natural world.” See n. 38, 65, in that work; and very much more on the subject in Angelic Wisdom concerning Divine Love and Divine Wisdom, n. 205-229.
 It is similar with the successive order to marriage, and the simultaneous order in marriage, that is to say, the latter is from the former and according to it. He who knows the influx of successive into simultaneous order can comprehend how the angels can see in a man’s hand all the thoughts and intentions of his mind; and also how wives from their husbands’ hands upon their breasts sensate their affections, which fact has been several times mentioned in the relations. The reason is that the hands are the ultimates of man, into which the deliberations and conclusions of his mind are determined, and there make what is simultaneous. And therefore it is said in the Word that it is “written upon the hands.”21 315. To this are added two relations. First:
I once saw not far from me an aerial phenomenon: I beheld a cloud divided into little clouds, some of which were of heavenly blue and some dark; and they appeared to me as if in collision with one another. Streaky rays flashed across them, which appeared now sharp like the points of swords, now blunt like broken swords; and the streaks now darted forwards, now withdrew into themselves, altogether like pugilists. Thus these small different colored clouds appeared as if fighting with one another, but they were at play. And as the appearance seemed not far away from me, I lifted up my eyes and looked intently, and saw boys, young men, and old men entering a house, which was built of marble with a substructure of porphyry. The phenomenon was above this house. Then, addressing one of those who were entering, I asked, “What is here?”
He answered, “A school, where young men are initiated into various matters that pertain to wisdom.”
 Hearing this I went in with them. I was in the spirit, that is, in a similar state to that in which men are in the spiritual world, who are called spirits and angels. And lo, in the school there appeared in front, a chair; in the middle, benches; at the sides, seats round about; and over the entrance, an orchestra. The chair was for the young men who made answer to the problem to be proposed at that time; the benches were for the auditors; the seats at the sides were for those who had answered wisely before; and the orchestra was for the elders, who were to be arbiters and judges. In the middle of the orchestra was a tribunal where sat a wise man whom they called chief teacher, who proposed the problems to which the young men were to make answer from the chair.
After they were assembled the man arose from the tribunal and said, “Answer now, I pray, to this problem, and solve it if you can: What is the soul, and what is the nature of it?”
 At hearing this problem they were all surprised, and murmured, and some of the assemblage upon the benches exclaimed, “Who among men, from the Saturnian age to this our own, has been able to see and apprehend, with any rational thought, what the soul is, and still less what the nature of it is? Is it not above the sphere of the understanding of all?”
But to this they replied from the orchestra, “It is not above the understanding, but within it, and before it; only answer.”
Then the young men chosen for that day to go up to the chair and answer to the problem, arose. They were five, who had been examined by the elders and found to excel in sagacity. They were then sitting on cushioned seats at the sides of the chair; and afterwards they went up in the order in which they sat. Each one when he ascended put on a tunic of silk of the color of opal, over this a toga of soft wool in which flowers were interwoven, and on his head a cap, upon the crown of which was a chaplet of roses encircled with small sapphires.
 And I saw the first thus clothed ascend, who said, “What the soul is, and what is the nature of the soul, has not been revealed to anyone since the day of creation. It is a secret among the treasures of God alone. But this has been discovered, that the soul dwells within man as a queen. But where her court is, the learned seers have but conjectured; some, that it is in a small tubercle between the cerebrum and the cerebellum, called the pineal gland. They make the seat of the soul in this, because the whole man is governed from those two brains and this tubercle disposes them; and, therefore, what disposes the brains at will regulates also the whole man, from head to heel.” And he added, “Hence this has appeared to many in the world as the truth, or as a probability; but after a time it was rejected as a figment.”
 When he had said this he put off the toga, the tunic, and cap; which the second of the chosen put on, and ascended to the chair. His statement respecting the soul was:
“In all heaven and in all the world it is unknown what the soul is, and what the nature of it is. It is known that it is, and that it is within man, but where is only conjectured. This is certain, that it is in the head, since there the understanding thinks, and there the will intends, and in the front of the head, in the face, are man’s five organs of sense. Nothing gives life to all these but the soul which resides in the head. But where its court therein is, I do not venture to say, but have agreed with those who assign its seat in the three ventricles of the brain; now with those who assign it to the striated bodies there, now with those who assign it to the medullary substance of each brain, now with those who locate it in the cortical substance, now with those who place it in the dura mater.
 “For there have not been wanting white stones,22 as it were, for the confirmation of each seat; stones for the three ventricles in the brain, because they are receptacles of the animal spirits, and of all the lymphs of the brain; stones for the striated bodies, because these form the medulla through which go forth the nerves, and through which each brain is continued into the spine, and from this and from that go forth the fibers out of which the whole body is woven together; stones for the medullary substance of each brain, because this is a collection and assemblage of all the fibers which are the rudiments of the whole man; stones for the cortical substance, because there are the first and the ultimate ends, and thence the beginnings of all the fibers, and thus of the senses and motions; stones for the dura mater, because this is the common covering of each brain, and extends thence by a kind of continuation over the heart, and over the viscera of the body. As for me, I am not more in favor of one of these conjectures than of another. I beg you to judge, and to choose which you prefer.
 Having said this he descended, and passed the tunic, the toga, and the cap to the third, who ascending to the chair said:
“What have I, a young man, to do with so lofty a theme? I appeal to the learned men sitting here on either side, I appeal to you wise men in the orchestra, yea, I appeal to the angels of the highest heaven, whether anyone, of his own rational light, can attain to any idea of the soul. But respecting its seat in man, I can like others conjecture; and I opine that it is in the heart, and thence in the blood; and the reason of my opinion is, that the heart by its blood governs both the body and the head. For it sends forth the great vessel called the aorta into all the body, and sends the vessels called carotids into all the head, whence there is the universal agreement, that the soul from the heart by means of the blood sustains, nourishes, and vivifies the whole organic system of the body and of the head. In support of this opinion may be added the expression “heart and soul,” used so many times in the sacred Scriptures as:
Thou shalt love God with all the heart and with all the soul, and that God creates in man a new soul and a new heart (Deut. 6:5; 10:12; 11:13; 26:16; Jer. 32:41; Matt. 22:37; Mark 12:30, 33; Luke 10:27; and other places);
and plainly, that:
The blood is the soul of the flesh (Lev. 17:11, 14).”
On hearing this some raised their voices and exclaimed “Well spoken! Well spoken!” They were of the canons.
 Then the fourth, having put on the vestments of this one ascended to the chair, and said, “I also surmise that no one is of a genius so subtle and refined that he can discover what the soul is, and the nature of it. I am therefore of the opinion that, by him who would pry into this subject, subtlety is wasted upon vain efforts. And yet from boyhood I have remained confidently of the opinion in which the ancients were, that the soul of man is in the whole of him and in every part, and thus that it is in the head and in the least parts of it, and in the body and in the least parts of it; and that it was a groundless notion invented by the moderns to designate its seat somewhere, and not everywhere. The soul, moreover, is a spiritual substance, whereof extension is not predicated, nor place, but habitation and impletion. And who when he speaks of the soul does not mean the life? Is not the life in the whole and in every part?”
Many in the audience were favorable to this opinion.
 After him the fifth arose, and adorned with the same insignia said this from the chair:
“I do not stop to say where the soul is, whether in some part, or in the whole, everywhere. But from my stock and store I open my mind on the question, What is the soul? And of what nature is it? The soul is not thought of by anyone but as a pure something, which may be likened to ether, or air, or wind, wherein the vital from rationality is, which man has more than beasts. I have based this opinion upon the fact that when a man expires he is said to breathe out or give up the soul or spirit. And hence also the soul living after death is believed to be such a breath, wherein is the cogitative life called the soul. What else can the soul be? But as I heard you say from the orchestra that the problem concerning the soul, what it is, and the nature of it, is not above the understanding but in and before it, I beg and pray that you yourselves will unveil this eternal arcanum.”
 Then the elders in the arm chairs looked to the chief teacher who had proposed the question, who understood from their beckoning that they wished him to descend and instruct. And he immediately descended from the tribunal, passed through the auditorium, and ascended to the chair; and then extending his hand he said, “Listen, I pray: Who does not believe the soul to be the inmost and the subtlest essence of the man? And what is an essence without a form but a creature of the reason? The soul then is a form. But it shall be told what form. It is the form of all things of love and all things of wisdom. All things of love are called affections, and all things of wisdom are called perceptions. The latter are from the former and thus with them make one form, wherein things innumerable are in such order, series, and coherency, that they can be called one. And they can be called one because nothing can be taken away from it and nothing added to it so that it shall be such. What is the human soul but such a form? Are not all things of love and all things of wisdom essentials of that form? And these with man are in the soul, and from the soul in the head, and in the body.
 “You are called spirits and angels; and you believed in the world that spirits and angels are as winds or ethers, and thus minds and breaths. But you now see clearly that in fact you are really and actually men, who in the world lived and thought in a material body; and you know that the material body does not live and think, but the spiritual substance in that body; and this you called the soul, whose form you did not know. But now you have seen and see it. You all are souls, about the immortality of which you have heard, thought, said, and written so much; and you cannot die to eternity, because you are forms of love and wisdom from God. The soul then is the human form, from which nothing can be taken away, and to which nothing can be added; and it is the inmost form of all forms of the entire body. And as the forms that are without take both essence and form from the inmost, therefore you, just as you appear to yourselves and to us, are souls. In a word, the soul is the man himself, because it is the inmost man; for which reason its form is the human form, fully and perfectly, and yet it is not life, but the nearest receptacle of life from God; and thus it is a dwelling place of God.”
 Many applauded these words, but some said, “We will reflect upon them.”
I then went home, and lo, over that school, in place of the former phenomenon, a bright white cloud appeared, without streaks or rays contending with one another, which cloud, penetrating the roof, entered and illuminated the walls. And I heard that they saw writings, and among others this:
Jehovah God breathed into man’s nostrils the soul of lives and man was made a living soul (Gen. 2:7).
316. The second relation:
Walking once, in tranquillity of spirit and delightful peace of mind, I saw in the distance a grove, in the middle of which was an avenue extending to a small palace; and I saw maidens and young men, and husbands and wives entering. In the spirit I also went thither. And I asked a certain keeper standing at the entrance whether I too might go in. He looked at me, and I asked him, “Why do you look at me?”
He answered, “I look at you to see whether the delight of peace which is in your face takes anything from the delight of conjugial love. Beyond this avenue is a small garden and in the midst of it a house where are two newly wedded married partners, to whom friends of both sexes are coming today to wish them happiness. Those whom I permit to enter I do not know, but have been told that I shall know them by their faces. If I see in them the delight of conjugial love I am to admit them and not others.”
All angels can perceive the delights of the heart of others from their faces, and the delight of that love which he saw in my face was because I was meditating on conjugial love. This meditation shone forth from my eyes, and thence entered the interiors of my face. He therefore told me that I might go in.
 The avenue by which I entered was of fruit trees mutually conjoined by their branches, which formed a continued wall of trees on either side. I passed through the avenue into the small garden which breathed a pleasant fragrance from its shrubs and flowers. The shrubs and the flowers were pairs and pairs, and I heard that such small gardens appear around houses where there are or have been weddings, and that they are therefore called wedding gardens.
Afterwards I went into the house and saw there the two married partners, holding each other by the hand and conversing together from love truly conjugial. And it was given me then to see from their faces the very likeness of conjugial love, and from their conversation the vital of it.
When, among the many, I had offered my congratulations and wished them happiness, I went out into the little wedding garden, and there saw on the right side of it a gathering of young men, towards which all who came out of the house were hastening. The reason why all were running to the place was that the discourse there was about conjugial love, and discourse on that subject by a certain secret power attracts the minds of all to itself. Then I listened to a wise man who was speaking on the subject, and what I heard was in brief this:
 “The Divine providence of the Lord respecting marriages and in marriages, in the heavens, is in the most single things and thence in things the most universal, because all the felicities of heaven spring from the delights of conjugial love, as sweet waters from the sweet current of a fountain. And for the same reason it is provided by the Lord that conjugial pairs are born; and that they are continually educated for marriage, the boy and the girl being ignorant of it; and that after the completed time, the then- marriageable virgin and the then-marriageable youth meet and see each other, somewhere, as if by fate, and then instantly, as by some instinct, they know that they are mates, and from a kind of internal dictate they think within them, the young man, ‘She is mine,’ and the maiden, ‘He is mine.’ And after this has been for some time in the minds of both, they deliberately address each other and are betrothed. It is said, as if by fate, and as if by instinct, but the meaning is ‘by the Divine providence, because this, when unknown, appears so.’”
That conjugial pairs are born and are educated for marriage, unconsciously to both, he confirmed by the conjugial similarity visible in the faces of both, also by the inmost and eternal union of dispositions [animorum] and minds [mentium], which could not be as it is in heaven unless foreseen and provided by the Lord.
 After the wise man had thus spoken, and the company applauded, he said further, “The conjugial is in the very minutest particulars with man, both in the male and in the female; but still the conjugial is one thing in the male and another in the female; and in the masculine conjugial there is something conjunctive with the feminine conjugial, and vice versa, even in the most minute particulars.” This he confirmed by the marriage of the will and the understanding in everyone, “which two act together in the very smallest particulars of the mind and in the very smallest particulars of the body, from which it may be seen that the conjugial is in every substantial thing, even the least; and this is made evident by the composite substances that are composed of simple substances. For example, there are two eyes, two ears, two nostrils, two cheeks, two lips, two arms with hands, two loins, two feet; and within man, two hemispheres of the brain, two ventricles of the heart, two lobes of the lungs, two kidneys, two testicles. And where there are not two they are yet divided in twain. The reason why there are two is because the one is of the will, and the other of the understanding, which act into each other marvelously that they may present a one; so that the two eyes make one sight, the two ears one hearing, the two nostrils one smell, the two lips one speech, the two hands one labor, the two feet one walking, the two hemispheres of the brain one habitation of the mind, the two chambers of the heart one life of the body by means of the blood, the two lobes of the lungs one respiration, and so on. And the masculine and the feminine united by love truly conjugial make one fully human life.”
 When he had said this, lightning, which was red, appeared on the right, and on the left, lightning which was white; both were mild, and entered through the eyes into the minds and also enlightened them. And after the lightning it thundered also, which was a gentle murmur flowing down from the angelic heaven and growing louder. Hearing and seeing this, the wise man said, “These are a signal and monition to me that I should add this to what I have said: That the right of those pairs signifies the good of them, and the left signifies the truth of them; and that this is from the marriage of good and truth, which is inscribed upon a man as a whole and upon his every least part, and the good relates to the will and the truth to the understanding, and both together to a one. Hence it is that in heaven the right eye is the good of vision, and the left is the truth of it; the right ear is the good of hearing, and the left is the truth of it; and that the right hand is the good of man’s power, and the left is the truth of it; and similarly with the other pairs. It was because the right and left have these significations that the Lord said:
If thy right eye cause thee to stumble, pluck it out. And if thy right hand cause thee to stumble, cut it off. (Matt 5:29-30)
by which is meant that if good becomes evil it is to be cast out. So also that he told his disciples to:
Cast the net on the right side of the ship; and that when they did this they took an immense multitude of fishes (John 21:6-7);
by which he meant that they should teach the good of charity and thus would gather men.”
 After these words, two flashes of lightning appeared again, milder than before; and at the same time it was seen that the lightning on the left derived its brilliant whiteness from the ruddy fire of the lightning on the right; seeing which he said, “This is a sign from heaven confirmative of what I have said. For in heaven the fiery is good, and shining white is truth; and that the lightning on the left was seen to take its shining white from the red fire of the lightning on the right is a sign showing that the brilliant whiteness of light, or light, is nothing else than the splendor of fire.”
On hearing this all went home, enkindled by those lightnings and by the discourse concerning them, with the good and truth of gladness.
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